Recovery Road

Journey Through Proverbs - 3:11-12

2009-02-20T14:28:00.004-07:00

Proverbs 3:11-12 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

There are consequences for our actions - and with good reason. If you've ever watched the show Heroes, you know that it's hard for Claire not to think of herself as invincible. We need our wounds to remind us of our mortality.

I believe the consequences of our actions are a built-in safety net provided by God to protect us from our own foolishness - physically, emotionally and spiritually.

It would have been wonderful when I got sober, if everything in my life would have miraculously all fallen into order without any effort on my part. Or would it? What would I have learned? What would keep me from going right back to the old patterns of behavior that took me to the brink of death?

It has taken me many years to recover completely from some of the terrible mistakes I made during my years of alcohol and drug abuse. Some I haven't been able to recover from yet and still other problems will never be healed. But every single painful episode has taught me an invaluable lesson about God's mercy and love and the hope He offers me for the future.

When you hear yourself crying out, "why God? Why me? Why now? Why must I go through this?" Listen carefully for His answer. He will reveal it and you will find comfort and peace in His sovereign ways, no matter how difficult it might be. His discipline is for the son or daughter He loves.

My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Rejoice in every challenge which is the discipline of a loving Father.

Dear Lord, how precious is Your love, how marvelous Your ways. We submit to Your plan and accept the sting of Your discipline, knowing it is for our own good. Grant us peace, dignity and hope in the lessons You teach. In Jesus' name, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 3:10

2009-02-19T09:10:00.003-07:00

Proverbs 3:10 Then your barns will be filled to overflowing,and your vats will brim over with new wine.

Everything in life is based on cause and effect. You do this and such and such happens.

The pessimist may wonder why bad things always happen to them. I believe if we honestly look at our life's circumstances, we will clearly see that we ourselves have been the cause of every effect in our adult life.

But what about early childhood? Anything that happened to us in our youth is the result of the actions of our parents or whatever family raised us. Therefore, they do have an effect on our lives. But there comes a point at which we must face the hand we've been dealt and determine how were going to play it.

Two women were raised by the same screwed up alcoholic parents. One loved and trusted everyone. The other trusted no one. One's life is all about giving. The other gives little. One worships God and believes in the Savior Jesus. Her sister wants nothing to do with organized religion and relies on Buddhism to find spiritual strength. One loves the truth while the other tells lies like she doesn't even realize she's doing it and wouldn't know the truth if it slapped her in the face. Same hand, different strategy for living.

The most important word in Solomon's statement is "then." It implies that something comes before the overflowing barns and brimming wine vats: Honor God and give.

Only when we do the one thing will the other thing result. Cause and effect.

The cause of one sister's tormented, disjointed, dishonest and untrusting life, is her choice to turn away from God and hoard whatever she has for herself and her own family. The cause of the other sister's peace, joy and hope in the Lord is her decision to honor God and give back to Him what was His in the first place.

Neither woman is homeless or in need of anything. But the final outcome of this game is still to come. One's hand promises only eternal suffering. The other's wins entrance to heaven - forever glorifying God and sharing in overflowing barns and brimming vats.

Let's not get too excited about those brimming vats - there will be no drunkeness in heaven. These are only metaphors for God's abundant blessings!

We are faced with choices every day. We can look up, choose not to sink into self pity and indulge our addictions, or we can be like the sister condemned to misery today and forever. What will your fate be?

I'm looking forward to the inheritance of my Father!

Father in heaven, how we long to be with You, filled to overflowing with Your goodness! Give us this day, our daily bread, and lead us not into temptation, but keep us on the path to Your great banquet hall. Remind us to be thankful for all that we have, to leave what was done in the past, and to keep our eyes on the blessings to come. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 3:9

2009-02-18T09:33:00.006-07:00

Proverbs 3:9 Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops.

When I first got into recovery, I was going to a meeting every single day. When coworkers and friends asked about it, insinuating my behavior was excessive or obsessive, I explained that I drank every day. Was it a crutch? Yes. A cripple needs help. I was an emotional cripple and needed all the support I could get.

One of the first things I learned in those early meetings was to be of service. All recovery meetings are self supporting financially and operationally. Members donate their time, talents and money for the benefit of each group.

As members of a church, (if you're a Christian I certainly hope you're involved in a fellowship of believers,) we do the same thing.

Solomon reminds us here to honor God with the firstfruits of our crops. That means the cream. The best we have to offer. Why? Because everything we have is thanks to a loving Father who provided it all for us.

We don't offer the dregs of the coffee pot to visitors, we brew a fresh pot. We don't scrounge up a few pennies to give a gift to someone we love, we give lavishly from our wealth.

If it's so important to be kind to our guests and give extravagantly to a loved one here on earth, how much more important is it to give wholeheartedly to the One who gave it all for us?

Our firstfruits in this day and age are probably not crops, since few of us are farmers. We don't have much but we give financially first to God, no matter what. Each day I give God the firstfruits of my time in prayer, study and devotion before doing anything else. He comes first.

What's the best you have to offer God? Time? Talent? Financial wealth? Compassion? Whatever it is, give to God the best that you have. Not for ourselves, but for His honor and glory.

Father, we humbly come before You with all that we are and all that we have. We offer ourselves to You, a living sacrifice. Take our time, our talent, and all that we have; use them according to Your purposes for Your glory. May we honor You with the firstfruits of all our "crops," whatever they might be. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 3:8

2009-02-17T08:39:00.006-07:00

Here's to Better Health

Proverbs 3:8 This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

It's a known fact that stress breaks down the immune system leaving us wide open for disease.

Addictions first make us feel good. Whether we take drugs to alleviate physical pain, eat or drink to cover emotional pain, or gamble for the adrenaline rush, there's one purpose for seeking our drug of choice - relief; escape; to feel better about ourselves.

Over time, these things begin to cause physical problems, breaking down the liver, creating fat and lack of motivation, high blood pressure and heart disease just to name a few. What was once our respite, turns on us and becomes our bitter enemy.

As we give up our addictions and begin to seek God's way, eventually we find ourselves on the road to better overall health.

I'd always been a pretty healthy person all my life. I rarely had the flu, my colds were always short and mild, and that was the extent of it. A couple years before I got sober, I suddenly started getting sick a lot, culminating in a serious case of bronchitis. Even after I got sober, I still found myself sick far more than ever before in my life, experiencing problems with my kidneys, back, and frequent viruses. At first I joked that the alcohol had been like a preservative in my system, protecting me from illness. After I'd been clear-headed for awhile, I began to see what had really happened. The years of abuse had done some damage to my cells and that wasn't going to get better over night.

As we turn to God for wisdom and guidance, the body and mind begin to heal. We exercise more and eat healthier, seek healthier relationships, and become a giving member of society, bit by bit we recover more than just overcoming our addiction.

Some damage cannot be healed - we may have taken our addictions too far. But keep in mind how much worse things could be, probably would be, had you not made the decision to get help when you did! Let's be grateful for whatever we do recoup rather than focusing on irreversible damage done. Let's focus on the One who knows the way to optimal health for each of us.

This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

I'll have a drink of water to that - here's to better health!

Heavenly Father, we thank You for the strength to say no to our addictions, for the regeneration of damaged cells, for the resolve to stay the course and get healthier, day by day. We give You all the glory, in Jesus' name, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 3:7

2009-02-16T17:05:00.004-07:00

Don't be a Horses Patute

Proverbs 3:7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.

I was an emancipated minor by the age of fifteen. When I was seventeen, while sharing an apartment with my brother for a time, he accused me of being an alcoholic. Just because I had a fake ID and came home with a six pack every day after work, didn't make me a drunk, I assured him. "I can give it up any time I want," I bragged. Just to prove my point, for the next month I drank white grape juice every day instead of beer.

Who was I trying to convince? As soon as my thirty days of sobriety was up, I went right back to my daily six pack and promptly moved elsewhere.

A number of times in my drinking career I moved away from people who called me on my drinking and tried to help. I did not fear the Lord and sought my own wisdom which told me I was just fine. I didn't "need" to drink, and why couldn't everybody mind their own business?

As an earlier Proverb told us, fear of God is the beginning of knowledge. When I finally realized there was a power greater than myself and that He might have a better life for me if I would just seek Him, things began to change. When I turned my will and my life over to God as I understood Him, I began to change. When God became the center of my universe, I began to understand some things.

I'm late in writing this today because the enemy was on my tail all day long and doing his best to hold me in his grip. But I fear God: He is my Savior; He loosens the grip of the devil.

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. Whatever you're trying to do on your own, let it go. Lean on the wisdom of God and let Him carry you through your trials.

Father, we lean on You and You alone. Strike the hold of him who would lead us astray and show us the way to go, in the strength of Jesus. In Your name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 3:6

2009-02-13T08:48:00.004-07:00

Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

A couple years ago there was a program on a cable channel I watched for awhile. Every time I watched Dead Like Me, I felt a twinge of guilt - would Jesus sit here and watch this with me? Does this glorify God? But I watched it anyway. It was a very funny show and I didn't want to give it up, despite the constant use of foul language and ungodly themes.

Viewing that one program led me to watch movies and other shows I wouldn't normally have seen. My soul began to feel like there was a layer of scum veiling me from God.

It's important to be in tune with the Holy Spirit. He's in each of us, niggling here, nudging there, to let us know when we're doing things that don't honor God. One thing always leads to another and we can become comfortable in that sludge.

We'll find ourselves on that slippery road by something as innocuous as attending a party where cravings are triggered by temptations presented. Then it's just one taste, one drink, one piece, one hit, one peek...

We can't acknowledge God in our prayer time, Bible study, or church and pretend He isn't at our side when we go where we have no business going. If you're asking yourself the question, "does this honor God?" you already know the answer. Just don't go there.

Repentance means turning around, going the other way. Sometimes for us, it means to literally run for our lives. If we come to God in confession and commit to changing our behavior, the only way to open the floodgates of God's blessings is by then following the direction of the Holy Spirit. The good news is, He does provide the strength, the courage and the guardrails to keep us on that path. He won't let us fall as long as we pursue Him.

When I stopped watching Dead Like Me, it was a decision that catapulted me back onto the road of peace. Little by little, I began to notice other areas where I'd veered away from God and He steered me right. It's amazing now to realize how far to the left I'd gone, completely unaware. That's the insidiousness of sin, how easily we're led astray. But over time, as I began to eliminate the distractions and refocus on my Savior, I regained the peace that surpasses all understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. On your own, it's impossible, with God, all things are possible. (Mark 10:27)

What are you hanging onto that's leading you astray? Look to the Savior. The Holy Spirit will guide you.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
O Father in heaven, holy and perfect is Your name!
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
You rule Lord: Your purposes will be accomplished here on earth, just as in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Provide for us Lord, we are satisfied with all that You give!
Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
Father forgive our sins, that which we can never repay You for all You've done and sacrificed on our behalf, according to our forgiveness of those who have hurt us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Keep us from the road to destruction; protect us from Satan's lure.
For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory,
For everything is Yours, You are all powerful, and we give You all the glory!
Forever and ever.
For all eternity.

Eph 3:20-21 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 3:5

2009-02-12T08:06:00.006-07:00

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

The popular television program Lost has a lot of people speculating about what's really going on in the show. If you're not a viewer, let me give you a brief summary of the plot.

Flight 815 en route from Australia to the US crashes in the ocean near an island. A number of passengers survive, and fantastic things happen to them on this island. There are also bizarre occurrences within the island itself. The plot deals with how the people are affected by these events and how they respond.

As my husband and I have been reading through Judges in our morning study time together, we're seeing some things anew through God-filtered eyes.

Lost is a commentary on mankind. We look for someone to follow. Some follow paraplegic John Locke who was miraculously healed after the crash and is now strong as an ox. Some Follow Jack Shephard, a doctor. Interesting names the writers assigned these men.

Jack is supposedly the "good guy" but his life is a complete mess. Son of an alcoholic surgeon, he too is alcoholic and a drug addict. He's in love with Kate, wanted for murder of her alcoholic abusive father. She's also in love with Sawyer, (his name an alias) the James Dean bad boy of Flight 815.

John is a twisted emotionally disturbed character who is often right despite his loony behavior.

Both men want to lead but need guidance. Locke looks for guidance from "the island" while Jack goes by his instincts and has constant need to fix things.

Woven into the plot. as if it weren't nutty enough, is a deplorable character Ben, who is the most twisted of all. Yet they often trust him for answers even though he's a liar and murderer, because they feel they have no choice. In doing so, it appears they are putting their trust in the devil himself.

Every one of the characters in the program, are spiritually lost, condemned by their own human skin and foolish decisions.

The world is looking for answers in men - bosses, bankers and presidents - and ultimately they will let us down every time. The Israelites who were beloved by God, just as the members of Lost, were caught up in seeking answers from human leaders. Again and again they floundered, were beaten by their enemies, wounded, hungry, thirsty, wandering in deserts and dying.

Following men gets us into places we don't want to be, doing things we shouldn't be doing, leading us to our demise.

Who is Johh, Jack, or Ben in your life? Who do you look to for answers?

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Only He can truly be trusted. Only He knows the way to go.

Heavenly Father, lead us from the island of temptation, remind us to turn to You, the infallible, in times of trouble, not fallible men. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 3:3-4

2009-02-11T09:49:00.005-07:00

Proverbs 3:3-4 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

I might have known a hundred men

Who left my heart in shatters;

But I will rise to love again,

For loving is what matters.

Before I became a Christian I had fallen into depression and alcoholism which caused me to make a lot of really bad choices. It was interesting that today of all days, as I was looking for some old documents, I came across poetry I had written in those days, the laments of a love-lorn young woman.

In my teens, despite coming from a broken home and having experienced unjust and painful peer rejection from early on, already I understood that nothing in life was more important than to love.

You'll note I didn't say to be loved.

Whether one calls it karma, the law of sowing and reaping, cause and effect or whatever, the fact of the matter is, what we give is what we receive. If you're a taker, others will take from you. If you're mean spirited, others will be unkind to you. If you're vindictive, others will seek revenge against you. This is simply the way life operates.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Be loving and faithful to God and those around you and you will reap the blessings.

Early in my recovery as I was beginning my amends, I went to my sponsor asking how to deal with people who had hurt me when I had done nothing to hurt them. She said, "forgive them, pray the blessings you would want in your own life would be poured out on them."

This is what it means to have love and faithfulness permeate your soul. It's not about what we get, it's about what we give. The natural result is the blessings of God.

Pray for those who have done you wrong. It will heal your soul.

Heavenly Father, You are holy and majestic yet merciful and forgiving. You are faithful and loving to us even though we don't deserve it. May we listen to the heartbeat of the Holy Spirit prompting us to shine the love of Jesus onto those around us, even and especially those who have hurt us. Give us hearts to forgive, overflowing with love and faithfulness to all, for Your glory. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 3:1-2

2009-02-10T12:33:00.004-07:00

Proverbs 3:1-2 My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life and bring you peace. (paraphrased.)

NKJV My son, do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands; for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.

God might title this section of Scripture, My Way, the High Way.

My body is breaking down, a natural result of aging. But it is in far worse shape than it needs to be. It was lovingly crafted by my Creator for His intended purposes. Despite my own better judgment (that still small voice that often alerted me like the Robot in Lost in Space warned, "danger, Will Robinson,") I lifted things that were beyond my capabilities, did a man's job which propelled erosion of my spinal disks, drank too much, ran with the wrong people and did things that ultimately caused damage to my delicate internal systems.

Suppose I had listened to that little voice instead of doing things my way? I would not have landed in the pit of despair, crying out for God's mercy. We could all divulge a fair share of coulda, woulda, shoulda that might have prevented the troubles we find ourselves facing today.

We can't do anything about past mistakes, but we can change our decisions today. We can commit to listening to that wise voice from within and obey the Holy Spirit of God.

Do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart. Read, study and memorize God's word, store it in your heart for when it's needed to help you make right choices.

They will prolong your life and bring you peace. God knows best. Let's do it His way in our own best interests. His way is a better high than we could ever attain from food, alcohol, drugs or any other addictive earthly pleasure.

Lord God, You are all we need. Your word is our will. Grant us divine attentiveness to the Holy Spirit to guide us this day according to Your plans and purposes for our lives. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 2:22

2009-02-09T14:24:00.005-07:00

Proverbs 2:22 But the wicked will be cut off from the land, and the unfaithful will be torn from it.

I've had spells in my spiritual life when the well was dry, while I walked a parched and dusty road in search of refreshment.

During those times I was unable to praise God or pray, and isolated myself from friends or mentors who might offer wise counsel. Sometimes I've even doubted God, or been angry with Him for being silent. In these times, I was but one jigger away from losing my abstinence. Only by the grace of God did I not quench my thirst for spiritual fulfillment with the poison of demise.

But without question, every single time, when I finally found my way back to the well of living water, I realized what the problem had been. Me.

In Judges, we learned how time and again the Israelites listened to a wise leader for a few years, worshipped God and were blessed. Then they would intermingle with the inhabitants of the lands they lived in, who were not Jews, and got tangled up in idolatry. Things would go way south for a period until Israel cried out for God to rescue them. God was always faithful to bail them out and again they would walk with and worship Him for a time.

Beloved, we are no different today. When things fall apart, we suddenly realize we have not made God first in our lives - we've relied on other things, put our hope in materialism or other human beings. No amount of money, no fame or lover, nothing on this earth can redeem us but God alone.

Come to the well of living water and be refreshed.

The wicked will walk in the desert of their own souls, the unfaithful will not find His land of refreshment.

Forgive us Father for turning to idols, for forgetting our first love who saved us. Bring us back into Your good graces where once again our thirst for Your goodness will be quenched, our hunger for righteousness increased. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 2:21

2009-02-08T08:30:00.002-07:00

Proverbs 2:21 For the upright will live in the land, and the blameless will remain in it.

Life requires a delicate balance of the elements endure. Those who believe in the one-in-a-trillion chance that earth sprouted out of nothingness, with no divine purpose, are deluded.

The Columbine, Colorado's state flower, is an amazing example of this necessary stability. To think survival of any living organism could occur by "accident" is absurd. The Columbine is at once delicate and beautiful, yet hardy enough to survive the harshest conditions of the Colorado Rockies: high winds, drought, extreme heat and cold. It lives among tangles of scrub brush and weeds, its roots seeking nourishment in rocky soil.

Ah, if only we humans could live like flowers, unhindered by our harsh environment. Unfortunately, unlike these flora that delight us, emotions are enmeshed in our constitution.

Emotions drive us to love and nurture as well as to hate and destroy. Once more, the need for balance. When the chemistry gets out of whack, we get off track.

When God created man, perfect in every way, the human life form required certain elements for optimal performance. God gave us the earth and all that is in it. He gave implicit instructions for our own good and He gave us free will to choose whether we would abide by the rules or not. In our rebelliousness, we messed up the balance and humans have been unstable ever since.

It's never too late to go back to living an upright life, to seek that balance which promises improved health and endurance. We can live in this land, on this earth, in relative peace and enjoyment for our remaining days if we choose to. The choice is always ours. We can never blame God or others if things go awry. No matter what someone else has done or does in the future that affects your life, you still choose your actions and attitudes. Your life depends on walking in God's ways, in integrity.

Living upright means one day at a time making good choices; choosing abstinence over indulgence.

For the upright will dwell in the land and the blameless will remain in it. With the right balance, you can survive the rocky soil.

Lord, help us to remember today that You're in control, You have a plan, and Your way is always best. Holy Spirit guide us today. In Jesus' name, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 2:20

2009-02-07T09:20:00.002-07:00

Proverbs 2:20 So you may walk in the way of goodness, and keep to the paths of righteousness.

Let's go back to what Solomon was talking about here, from the beginning. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Then he goes on to discuss how easily sin draws us into the snare of doom. He's now saying, understand these things in order that you might walk instead in the way of goodness, paying attention to wisdom, surround yourself with good people who walk in godly ways.

The company we keep is so very important to recovery and stability. As the metaphor goes, one bad apple will turn the whole bunch rotten. Put a perfectly good slice of bread in with a moldy one and the next day the good slice will also be moldy. If you accidentally drop your paper in a mud puddle, you wouldn't put your clean sheets against the one that's been muddied...

We become infected by that which is tainted.

I still struggle to this day with a chameleon personality. If I'm in a roomful of comedians, there's no end to my humor. When in a crowd of intellects, I find myself using words the meanings of half of which I'm not altogether certain about. Put me at a party with small children and I revert to ten year old behavior. Being around people who use foul language will prompt off-color words to spill from my own lips, much to my dismay.

Having recognized this as a result of sobriety and spiritual growth, where I spend my time is very important to me. I choose to be with solid Christians who are serious about understanding Scripture, growing in faith and ministering to the needs of others.

What I do with my time at home is equally important: the Internet, books, movies, and television all have an affect on my way of life and attitude.

Take inventory of your lifestyle today. Where are you spending your time, with whom, and what do you do when you're alone?

So you may walk in the way of goodness, and keep to the paths of righteousness.

Praise God for the wisdom of Solomon and keep in mind, we don't have to repeat the mistakes of others to learn this wisdom. Let's just listen to the Holy Spirit. He knows where we should go, who we should spend our time with and what we should be doing.

Lord God, we praise Your wisdom and all Your ways. Grant us the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to guide us when we stray, clear the path ahead and remind us to stick with others who have walked this road before. May we seek the kingdom of God with all due diligence for Your glory and our joy. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 2:19

2009-02-06T08:59:00.006-07:00

Proverbs 2:19 None who go to her return or attain the paths of life.

My father went to AA for a few years with my mother in the 1950's. Mom remained sober for the rest of her 85 years and found peace. My dad died at 72, a pathetic, lonely man in denial. Although the diagnosis was stroke, I believe he died of a broken heart which could have been avoided if he'd accepted God's mercy.

Until we come to terms with the devil, who lures us only to death and destruction, we have no future. Rather, we will find an endless desert that offers no hope over the horizon.

Before you follow the lure of your addiction, think it through. Imagine yourself on the streets, scrounging in garbage cans for your meals, begging coins for a fix or a bottle. Or picture yourself spending your remaining days chained to oxygen, unable to walk anymore, too heavy to fit behind the steering wheel. Envision the worst nightmare that could result from your addiction. Now ask yourself, is the momentary pleasure received by the thing you crave worth spending the rest of your days in misery?

When you climb to the top of the dune, what's on the other side? An endless parched desert, or the living water of hope?

When we rely on Jesus, we have the strength we need to get to the top, (Phil. 4:13) with the right direction, (John 14:6) where we will find refreshment (John 4:13-14) for our souls.

None who go to her return or attain the paths of life.

Don't seek the whore of addiction who leads you only to the desert of destruction. Seek instead the kingdom of God, where living water flows in abundance.

O Lord God, our hope is in You alone. You who created us knows what's best, the way that offers a life of peace and joy. Protect us from the one who would lure us away down that road to nowhere, resulting in permanent death. Renew in us a desire to seek Your kingdom and life everlasting. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 2:18

2009-02-05T09:45:00.005-07:00

Proverbs 2:18 For her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead.

The number of times I've been faced with death are too numerous to recount. Four times were the direct result of following the spectre of death down her deadly path.

Hitchhiking all over the country with a big stick for protection, my friend, surrogate Mom and mentor once asked me, "what exactly are you gonna do with that big stick when somebody's pointing a gun at you or has you in a stranglehold?"

It was a good question, especially since I was utterly unprepared each time I faced the monster. It is literally only by the grace of God that I'm alive today to share a wee bit of wisdom. That bit of wisdom comes from experience, but more importantly, from God's word.

Had I been cruising on a righteous highway all those years instead of meandering down crooked, shadowy roads [any idiot can choose pleasure over safety and health,] I wouldn't have a story to share. My life might have been rather uneventful, peaceful, and fulfilling.

Rather, I chose to follow the wicked spectre of death to her door, and nearly pursued her right into the valley of darkness. My companions were all half-dead and knocking on the gates of hell.

Having escaped sexual assault, battery, overdose, blackouts, and my own thoughts of suicide, I now understand all of it could have been avoided had I only listened to Wisdom.

If you are in your waning years like me, be done with it. If you are young and think you're not done yet, be done with it. You have no idea what you'll miss out on if you continue to walk that path with those who walk in darkness. And chances are, you may not find the grace of God to save you as some of us did.

Why some of us have escaped while others have not, none can say. No one knows your story but God alone; He alone knows whether you will choose life or death, heaven or hell.

After all, it is our choice.

For her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead. Don't go there.

O Lord, God of mercy and hope, You have given us everything we need and promised abundant blessings. Forgive us for our blunders, for having followed that wicked snake who walks on deadly roads. We're alive now in our abstinence, and we choose to serve You alone. We choose life. Guide us day by day with the brilliant light of our Savior. May His light shine through us for others, by the power of the Holy Spirit, drawing them away from the seductress of ill fate, and into Your glorious kingdom. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 2:17

2009-02-04T13:56:00.003-07:00

Proverbs 2:17 ...who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God.

The adulteress is sin. It's all of us, the bride of Christ, when we turn away from our Lord in the flesh.

In reading the Old Testament, we see a slide show of Israel that repeats from one generation to the next. The sons and daughters of Abraham followed God, prospered, flourished and were blessed under the guidance of an anointed judge for a time. When the judge died, the people ignored God's laws, did their own thing, worshipped false gods and fell into utter chaos.

Is it any wonder we see the same parade of snapshots flashing on the news and in our papers here in America today? Once a nation of God-fearing men and women, we soon forgot that we came here fleeing religious dictatorship and became our own oppressors.

Those concerned for the future of our country today often cry out 2 Chronicles 7:14-16 in prayer: if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 15 Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. 16 I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.

Key points here are: turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear. I have chosen this consecrated temple...

When we're hanging out in our unconfessed, unrepentant sin, He doesn't hear. Are you getting that? We are like the adultress who has left her husband.

He has chosen us, to be His temple, the temple of the Holy Spirit, a consecrated place. His eyes and heart are IN US. Do you get that?

Let me break it down again for you. Confess, repent, pray, be heard, be blessed!

Who is our authority? When our only authority is God, and we listen to what He says, and we look honestly at ourselves with willingness to change, we can maintain a strong defense against our tempter. It is only when we try to do things our own way, when we ignore the prompting of the Holy Spirit and start down the crooked path that we find ourselves lost in the woods with a bottle, pipe or twinkies in hand. And when we sit alone in that isolated place, we think no one sees what we do.

My friends, His eyes are in our hearts! He's in here with us! He sees! You can't hide from God. Let it go. Turn to Him. Seek His face. He wants to bless you.

I promise, absolutely misery-back-guarantee you, if you will stop fighting rightseousness and do what the Holy Sprit prompts you, one by one united, we can send the tempter packing and turn this nation around. Safer streets, brighter minds, healthier bodies, and better economics for all. It all starts with listening to the heart of God.

Who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God?

Father Almighty, You are righteous and holy, above all others. We have fallen far! As a result, abstinent or not, we hang by a thread while Satan tickles our fancies with every glimmering tempatation. May we turn our eyes to Jesus, our perfect example of how to walk in Your ways, forgetting the desires of the flesh and seeking the will of our Lord. Be with us today as we recommit ourselves to abstinence and spiritual growth, with Your word as our guide. In Jesus' name, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs - 2:16

2009-02-03T11:20:00.003-07:00

Proverbs 2:16 It [wisdom] will save you also from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words.

Who is the wayward wife with her seductive words?

Mid-way through 2007 I began to feel like I deserved more, that there was an abundant life for me if only I would go for it. Then I came across a book about becoming a millionaire. This author promised if you would lay out your goals, speak them into existence, and work your hiney off to that end, you would be successful.

I wrote my desires on my bathroom mirror and read them every day. In late 2008 my whole world had collapsed in on itself and I felt like God had abandoned me.

I had been seduced by the whore of greed. I had failed to be grateful for all God has provided and sought after more. When I finally fell to my knees in repentance, washed my mirror and covered it with God's promises from Scripture, and asked God's forgiveness, it was like scales fell from my eyes and suddenly everything became crystal clear.

This year has begun with a joy in my heart I hadn't known for many years. Where the seductress Greed might have taken me right to the bottom of a bottle of liquor, God lifted me up when I turned to Him.

Wisdom is not loud, she does not force herself on us. We must seek her diligently, listen carefully and go to her willingly. Her promise is freedom, security, mercy, joy and all the blessings of God. Her enemy promises only grief.

Father, we thank You wholeheartedly that You are always there to pull us up when we fall into that pit of seduction. Grant us the strength and wisdom to seek only Your wisdom and find Your peace. In Jesus' name, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 2:12-15

2009-02-02T12:20:00.007-07:00

Prov 2:12-15 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways, who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.

One day I went up to the mountains to take some pictures. I went alone, as I usually do. Now I need to share with you that my body isn't what it used to be. before I injured my back, I was thin, agile and an avid hiker. Sometimes my head forgets I'm now 30 pounds heavier with a floppy foot, little strength and move at the pace of a snail.

On this particular day, I hiked awhile until I heard the sound of rushing water, exactly what I was looking for - a waterfall. A group of youth packing snowboards on their way up to the glacier gladly pointed the way for me, through the woods, up the mountain.

With my pack full of camera gear on my back and using my tripod as a walking stick, I trekked up a wooded hill through the forest toward the sound of the falls. Like the Energizer bunny I kept going and going and going, all the while becoming weaker and wearier. I must say, I think the Energizer bunny could go much further than I.

I went up as far as my legs could carry me (I'm guessing about a mile up a mountain slope.) The creek ran some thirty or forty feet below a pine-needle strewn rocky embankment. Now I needed to get into a position where I could photograph the cascade of water rushing down from the glacier further up the mountain. Ideally, this would be at water's edge, which I knew I couldn't get to. But little by little I made my way down the slippery tree lined embankment to find an angle, wedging myself between evergreens for support as I went. I fired off a few shots that were nothing to write home about. And then it was time to retreat.

As often happens, I'd come much further than I realized, amazed at the distance I'd covered inch by inch. And I was exhausted. Along with the physical labor involved in these little journeys, it's accompanied by mental fatigue from deep concentration and fear of the least little mistake that could lead to a disastrous fall. All of this is taking place over the course of a few hours. At one point on the climb back up, I hugged a sappy pine, cried, prayed, regrouped and and kept going.

As I reached the top of the embankment, my victory was dampened by the prospect of the distance I still had to hike down to my car, with my back pack that suddenly seemed much heavier than when I'd started.

Crooked paths can take many forms. When we walk with Jesus, Wisdom is our constant companion. Many times I've ignored her melodic voice, opting instead to listen to my own heart, which can be every bit as crooked as the thief in the night.

That day, as soon as my legs began to tremble a quarter of the way up, Wisdom whispered, "Anne, you should turn back." But I thought to myself, it can't be much further, I hear the water rushing.

As I started down the steep embankment Wisdom said, "you can't get close enough to get any good shots, you could fall and no one would hear you call for help. You have no cell phone reception from here. Don't go down there." But I thought, heck, I've come this far, I'm getting some photographs if it kills me.

As I adjusted my backpack for the trek back, Wisdom said, "Anne, you have enough rocks in your collection. Leave all those rocks you picked up along the way." I actually pulled a few out and considered tossing them, but they were so beautiful I just couldn't let them go.

I could hardly walk or do much of anything for a week after that little venture. In the same way Wisdom spoke to me throughout that day, she speaks to us all the time, telling us what God would have us do for our own good.

Our tormentors may be someone who wants to take us out for a drink, offers us drugs at a party, or tells us one piece of chocolate cake won't hurt. The abstinence we've worked hard to maintain is easily threatened.

Wisdom will guide us the right way if we listen. Satan works very hard at leading us down the crooked path. Wisdom works just as hard at steering us the right direction, to save us from ourselves. Who do I listen to?

Father guide us in paths of righteousness. Would we hear the voice of Wisdom by the power of the Holy Spirit. Would we pay attention, take the right road, and find true peace in following Your divine direction. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 2:11

2009-02-01T08:23:00.003-07:00

Proverbs 2:11 Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.

Recently I've been truly blessed to connect with family members I've long known existed somewhere but had no clue how to contact.

Growing up with two alcoholic parents who split when I was very young, left a million questions that were never answered. We who have reconnected have each had some questions answered and understand that some things will always remain a mystery. I know the Bible doesn't mention seeing family members in heaven, but I sure hope I will. It's the little things I didn't ask or pay attention to when Mom was still alive that drive me crazy with curiosity - like when exactly did Granny Rose (depicted) meet and marry Grandfather Eugene?

But that's unimportant for our message today. The point I really want to make is about what a close-lipped person my mother was. She only answered what was asked and responses were mostly short and somewhat evasive.

"Mommy, why doesn't Daddy ever call or come see us?" I'd ask.

"Darling, your father was hurt in the war and never quite recovered. He was a good man but it's best for all of us that we not see him again."

Quite frankly, had I been the parent, big mouthed transparent ninny that I am, I'd have said, "Well darling, your father is a drunken sot who beat this family mercilessly, violated your sister, and I hope he rots in hell."

By the grace of God, my mother used discretion and understanding. I would not be the person I am today, nor would I be writing this devotion, if she had recklessly spoken ill of my father. I would probably still be a roaring drunk or dead.

The world is full of wicked, sinful people. We wouldn't have need of a Savior if it wasn't so. Our Savior taught many important principles. Most vital of them: forgiveness.

My mother's message always was, right up to the day she died, "look for the good in people. When bad things happen, cut your losses and move on."

Sometimes it's just best to keep our mouths shut. Think. Be discreet. Consider your words carefully before you speak. Once they escape our lips they can never be taken back.

Discretion will protect you (and others,) and understanding (we're all sinners) will guard you.

Heavenly Father, we are grateful that You've provided a Savior for we are all sinners and can never measure up to Your holiness, Your perfection. Forgive us for the words we've said that have caused others pain, shame and anger. Grant us the wisdom and understanding to make amends in those cases where necessary, and to use discretion and understanding in the future. In Jesus' name, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 2:10

2009-01-31T12:16:00.004-07:00

Proverbs 2:10 For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

I don't remember much of my early days of sobriety back in 1990. It seems as though I was running on autopilot, flying in fog most of the time.

Like a sponge, as the alcohol evaporated, I began to soak up the wisdom of those who had worked the program and found peace in abstinence. I wanted what they had and couldn't get enough of it.

As the fog began to clear, and the wisdom started permeating my arid spongy brain, it was indeed pleasant to my soul.

The discovery process was amazing. One day, someone asked me if I'd like to go bowling. For the first time in my life, I stopped to think about that. I asked myself, "would I like to go bowling? Do I like bowling?" Interestingly, when I was drinking, I never gave much thought to what I wanted to do. I did whatever everyone else was doing. Suddenly in sobriety, a whole world of choices opened up and I had to do some evaluating. Grinning ear to ear, I happily told my friend, "no thanks, I don't think I like bowling!"

Now that the fog has cleared, have you figured out what you find pleasant in your soul? This might be good time to do some investigation. Just what do you like to do? What kind of music do you really like to listen to? Would you rather be with people, or be alone? Soak in a tub, or take a quick shower? Read a book, or go to the movies? See an adventure story, romance or comedy?

As you soak up wisdom from working the steps and following instruction, pay attention to who you're becoming, what you love in life, and follow your instincts. This is who God really created you to be. Take pleasure in that!

For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

O Lord, we rejoice in Your creation, in who we are, just as You made us. May this discovery process bring much joy as we soak up Your wisdom and draw closer in our walk with you. In Jesus' name, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 2:9

2009-01-30T15:02:00.005-07:00

Proverbs 2:9 Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path.

(Then, referring to abiding in the wisdom of God.)

My parents divorced before I could understand the dynamics of marriage and human nature. My dad was a brutal alcoholic who failed to recover because, as one dear life-long family friend put it, "he refused to concede that a power greater than himself could restore him to sanity."

There is literally only one element that determines our ability to stay the course - the wisdom of God. In order to have it, one must believe He has it to give. To believe He has it to give, one must believe He is. If one doesn't believe, well, I think you're smart enough to figure that one out.

Are you one of those? Have you perhaps stumbled onto this blog looking for help and are now laughing, saying to yourself, "you stupid blind sheep, following a fairy-tale shepherd-God."

Okay, let's pretend for a minute you're right. You've realized you're powerless over your addiction, whatever it is, and you want to stop but can't seem to do it on your own. Who, my friend, will you rely on? You can't rely on yourself, you've already proven that. Your friends can't help you - they've all either turned their backs on you in disgust or encouraged you to keep doing what you're doing that's destroying your life. Your parents can't help - maybe they're the reason you're in this mess in the first place. You've destroyed all your relationships, burned all your bridges and now you're out there on your own, laughing at us who trust in a divine Creator.

It's not easy to concede there's a God when you've always been self-reliant. Has your way worked? Are you losing everything because of your addiction? Has it brought you embarrassment and shame?

Let me give you a challenge. Do you believe in air? You can't see it, touch it, pick up in your hand. How do you know it's really there? Do you believe in gravity? Can't see that. Can't pick that up and snuggle it. Don't even have to tie your feet to it. But it keeps your feet firmly planted on the ground.

In the same way, we don't see God. Can't touch or smell or taste Him. But we know He's there because he provides all the intelligence of the universe. He provides the very awareness that you're you. How do I know this? The same way you know your lungs fill with air every time you suck in a breath.

Have you ever been about to do something you shouldn't and heard a little voice in your head say, "probably not a good idea." That's God. You went to McDonald's and ordered that fat-filled nutrient-free Big Mac and a little voice said, "coulda had a V-8." That's God. You got into your car and drove when you were drunk despite the voice that told you, "take a cab." That was God. You smacked your kid when he was crying, demanding he shut up, and the little voice said, "he's just a boy who needs love you do." That's God.

You can deny God until you're blue in the face. Lucky for you, He'll never do that to you. He'll wait as long as it takes and longer. The fact is, if you really want help for your addiction, you'll need to let go of belief in yourself and concede that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity.

Then all you have to do is ask.

And wait for the miracle to happen.

It will blow you mind.

Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. It will all make sense.

O Lord, for the one today who still tries to lean on his own understanding, I pray Your infinite wisdom will permeate the hardened heart and seep into the frozen soul. Would You pour it out like a warm and soothing shower that cleanses body, mind and spirit. Draw him or her to Yourself, wrapped in Your loving mercy, filled with hope and free to grow in Your goodness. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

If you haven't found a relationship with Jesus Christ and want to know what that's all about, please write to me. He's just waiting patiently for you to call on His name to bring forgiveness and healing to your soul. Just click the Email link at the bottom of the blog and share your story with me.

Journey Through the Proverbs - 2:8

2009-01-29T10:54:00.003-07:00

Proverbs 2:8 For HE guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.

Of late, tracing my family history and revisiting early memories have taken me often down paths I'd long forgotten and buried. Although there were moments of peace or joy in my childhood, for the most part, it was full of chaos, fear, dread, sadness and longing for love and security.

My first encounter with Jesus was one of those brief moments of goodness when I was five. If I charted the spiritual route from physical birth to when I was reborn in Christ, I can pinpoint each encounter with my Savior clearly, each nuance of His presence in my life, the number of times He physically saved me from death or serious harm.

There have been times after sobriety and in my walk of faith that I've been angry at circumstances and screamed at God, "why did I have to live this life?! Why couldn't I grow up in a normal healthy family?!" The Holy Spirit has always given me the same answer, "it's all part of the plan for your life to be used for the purposes of God for His glory."

I may not want to be on this particular path, but it's mine. It's the one chosen for me by my omniscient Father in heaven who certainly knows what's best. Sometimes I stand in the shadows, moving only by the prodding of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I stand in the shafts of warm sunlight, basking in soothing rays of comfort. Always, I know God is with me, Guard and and Protector of the faithful.

O Lord my God! May we always be faithful, may we always turn to You in every difficulty and praise Your holy name, understanding that all we go through is ultimately for our own good and Your glory. May we never forget the many times you have saved us from the pit of despair, the hands of death, and the fear of loss. That we may remain abstinent from those things that ensnare us with addiction, strengthen our faith, bolster our resolve, shine a light in our hearts to bring hope for a better tomorrow. In Jesus' name, amen.

Journey Through the Proverbs - 2:7

2009-01-27T17:02:00.007-07:00

Proverbs 2:7 He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless.

In the months before I got sober, I was living with a man in Phoenix, whom at one point I thought I would marry. He tried to control my drinking by allowing me no more than two beers each evening.

I had reached a low point in my life after my father died and nothing made sense to me. In searching for answers I met with a priest and told him I wanted to get right with God. He heard my confession and then said something like, "I cannot absolve you of your sins for I don't believe you're ready to give up your lifestyle and your confession is meaningless."

I left his office feeling rejected with a hole in my heart as big as the universe. Soon I moved out of my boyfriend's house, but not to prove the priest wrong because what he said was true. I needed the freedom to drink what I wanted, when I wanted. Yet in the stillness of the nights I had begun to pray that God would help me do what was right.

A few months later, without a conscious thought about changing jobs, I found myself looking at the want ads for some reason. I answered a post for a position in San Diego. By Providence, like a child thrown into the currents of a great river, over the next several years I was carried through circumstances and events that utterly changed my life and brought me to where I am today: a solid Christian; an instrument of God; conforming to His will as best I can.

For my husband's 45th birthday, I gave him a whitewater rafting trip he'd always wanted, bearing along Clear Creek through a glorious canyon. Before we put the raft in the water, our guide gave us careful instruction and made sure everyone understood what we were supposed to do to survive the trip. There were some tricky and dangerous rapids and huge rocks to navigate around. Our ears were completely attuned to hearing our guide. With direction from our fearless leader behind us calling out commands, we made it safely to our destination without capsizing or losing anyone. Our victory was exhilarating.

Our Father in heaven knows when we earnestly seek Him to live for His purposes, not ours. He provides the raft, the oars, and the strength. We have to do the work but our Guide is always behind us, calling out instructions. If we're to survive the course and experience the joy, we must be tuned into Him.

As a result of letting go of my plans and desires and seeking God's will for me, He is steadily carrying me along this stream of life cradled in the protection of His love. He shields me from dangerous rocks that loom in my path, undercurrents that try to suck me under and every kind of stormy weather. Some days the current is smooth and restful. Most days I'm just hanging on praying for strength to stay the course. But every victory is exhilarating!

If you're ready for the ride of your life, Your Father has prepared a raft for you. He will carry you through all the turmoil of life by the safest, most beautiful route. He provides what you need and the Holy Spirit will guide you with wisdom. Push off, it's exhilarating!

He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless.

O Lord, this is a rough and dangerous ride, yet beautiful and invigorating. May we stop fighting the current, sit upright, listen to Your instruction, be shielded from danger, and be blessed on this journey. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 2:6

2009-01-23T09:48:00.005-07:00

Proverbs 2:6 For the LORD gives wisdom, and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.

I have committed to the Lord, to myself and to you that I will share my quiet time journal every day for the glory of God. I do love to write and it comes naturally to me. I actually think better when I can see my thoughts on paper, or the computer screen, whichever the case may be. But that doesn't mean it's easy.

It takes discipline to do this the first thing every single day. I write three blogs, each with a different Scriptural focus. I derive great joy and satisfaction from doing so, but it comes with a great degree of accountability and responsibility.

As I sit here and ponder the words of Solomon this morning, reading them out loud, slowly, many times, I'm asking the Holy Spirit what He wants to teach me that I can share.

For the LORD gives wisdom, and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. In truth, from God's mouth comes EVERYTHING. He spoke, it became. Scripture is the inspiration of God Himself, given to those who diligently put pen to papyrus thousands of years ago. What they did then was not so different than what I do daily. They wanted to be sure God's word was shared and used to further His kingdom for His glory.

In this instance, we look at how the Scripture helps us abstain from our addictions. To many of those in twelve step programs who don't know Jesus or the Bible, the Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, fondly referred to as "the big book," is all the inspiration they need. In fact Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob were both Christian men who returned to the faith of their youth when they sobered up. The wisdom of the twelve steps is taken directly from the Bible. Whether non-Christian people in recovery want to acknowledge it or not, Jesus is affecting them to remain abstinent.

In the first three steps of AA we admit we're powerless over our addictions, acknowledge that only a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, and make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God (as we understand Him.)

In becoming a Christian, we admit we're sinners, acknowledge that Jesus is the Savior, and make a decision to follow Him and do the will of God. (Acts 16:31, Romans 3:22, Romans 10:10)

In Steps Four through nine, we consider all we've done, confess our sins and do all that we can to make amends for our damaging behavior.

As a Christian we continually seek the Holy Spirit's conviction of sin and confess often, promptly correct our wrongdoing, and seek God's will for our lives, praying for change in our hearts and willingness to overcome adversity. (1 John 1:9, 1 Peter 3:11)

In the last three Steps of the program, we continually watch for problems, adjusting where necessary. We seek God through daily prayer and meditation to grow along spiritual lines, and having overcome our addictions, we reach out to others however possible.

As we begin to grow in Christian faith, we pray, meditate on and memorize Scripture. Finally, we are convicted to share the gospel, the good news of the saving grace of Jesus, with others. (Acts. 20:24, Mark 16:15)

The parallels are unmistakable. The wisdom of our recovery program comes straight from the Bible. If we believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, inerrant in the original text and rightly translated for modern understanding, we comprehend that Scripture is direct communication from our Lord Himself. And From His mouth comes wisdom.

Father, You are truly amazing. You who created the entire universe, a monumental task we cannot even get our words around let alone our minds and hearts, have given us Your very words to live by. Your wisdom is like sweet music in our ears, purified blood coursing through our veins, sweetest honey on our lips. It is the very bread of life itself. May we meditate on these encouraging thoughts today as we follow our Savior up this holy mountain to meet with You. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 2:1-5

2009-01-22T11:29:00.003-07:00

Prov 2:1-5
My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2 turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, 3 and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4 and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, 5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.

If You:

Accept and store the Word of God in your heart
Listen to wisdom and apply it to living your life
Seek godly insight and understanding with zealousness like searching for treasure

Then you will comprehend the magnitude of God's grace and grow in spirit according to His ways.

As I began memorizing Scripture some years ago, it felt a little like high school when I memorized dates and facts, names and information, numbers and formulas. "What's the point?" I'd often say. "Why do I need to know all this stuff?"

From the moment I became a Christian I hungered to know all I could know about God, about Jesus, the relationship of the trinity, and how it all worked in my life. It didn't thrill me to memorize Scripture but I did it because my mentors told me to, never questioning how, when or even if I would ever use it in my life.

Then I hurt my back. The first time I recalled any of that memorized Scripture was laying in an MRI tube for what seemed like hours (it was probably all of 15 minutes) in terror with searing pain shooting down my legs. As tears ran down the sides of my face, I began to pray the 23rd Psalm, over and over. Then suddenly the machine clunked for the last time and I was gliding out into the bright room again. I had remained motionless as instructed and survived the grueling scans.

The next time I recalled Scripture was after a ten hour back surgery when I awoke in agony, unable to move my right ankle and left thigh. At first I could think of nothing but spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Again I found myself in the grip of fear. Out of my darkness, I heard a soft voice inside my head utter familiar phrases, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Be still and know that I am God. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your good, to give you hope and a future. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. He will never leave nor forsake you."

There have been many other times when the word of God flooded my mind and heart when in pain or fearful, or praying and encouraging someone else.

The beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord. The next step is to get to know His word, store it in our hearts and live according to His precepts. Not only does God's word guide us in paths of righteousness, Scripture comforts, strengthens and encourages us.

As we live our lives steeped in God's word, we begin to truly worship Him in awe because now we see how magnificent He really is, what power He has, how deep is His love, and how infinite His mercy.

Holy Father, we stand in awe of how perfect Your plans, Your attention to every detail. How foolish we've been to try to function without You, to think we could know what we're doing without the playbook. Thank You for showing us the way, for forgiving us our blunders and for steering us back onto the path when we fall short. May we delve deep into Your Word, store it in our hearts and minds, and call it into play in the hour of need. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 1:33

2009-01-21T09:41:00.005-07:00

Proverbs 1:33 But all who listen to me will live in peace and safety, unafraid of harm.

When I was a child, I had no real friends until I met Drew (not her real name.) She was always joking around and everyone loved her. Being with Drew brought me out of my lonely world and changed me completely. I learned to laugh and have fun, and even began to make friends of my own. Being with Drew opened up my world. She was also the one who introduced me to drugs and alcohol.

Drew was raised by good Christian parents. She had everything, to all outward appearances. But inside, she was an empty shell of a human being. When others weren't around she was miserable. I came across some photos of Drew the other day, and in each one she had the same expression on her face that could only be described as broken. There was a consuming sadness in her eyes. No one would ever guess by looking at those photographs that she was a natural comedienne who made everyone else laugh.

Why was Drew so disturbed? Like many of us, the emptiness she'd tried to fill with drugs, alcohol and men, was a God sized void. She needed the Lord.

Drew has been married to a very abusive man for some twenty years now. I connected with her a couple years ago and although her home life didn't look any different than her haunted photos, her heart did. There was a light in her eyes I hadn't seen since childhood. She told me she'd accepted Christ as her Savior and was attending a Christian church across the street from her home.

Life is different when we follow God..."all who listen to me will live in peace and safety, unafraid of harm."

I'm no longer afraid to die and I'm not afraid of evil people. I've often wondered, when I've found myself in a threatening situation, what would I say and do if I was car-jacked, mugged or raped. Many times I've run the scenarios in my head and the conversation is always about the saving grace of Jesus. Although I don't wish it, I'm not afraid of anyone who would do me harm. Ultimately, it would be an opportunity to share the gospel. If I'm killed I'll die in peace, and in the end, I'll be home with my Savior. Some say that's confidence. I say it's Godfidence.

Father, You've promised that all who listen to You will live in peace and safety, unafraid of harm. What a blessed assurance for us living in this dark and unstable world. Thank You that You're always with us, that no matter what happens, You win and we win. May Your word light our way today. We love You and praise You in the name of Jesus, amen.

Walking Through the Proverbs 1:20-27

2009-01-20T07:26:00.003-07:00

Proverbs 1:20-27
20 Wisdom shouts in the streets. She cries out in the public square. 21 She calls out to the crowds along the main street, and to those in front of city hall. 22 "You simpletons!" she cries. "How long will you go on being simpleminded? How long will you mockers relish your mocking? How long will you fools fight the facts? 23 Come here and listen to me! I'll pour out the spirit of wisdom upon you and make you wise. 24 "I called you so often, but you didn't come. I reached out to you, but you paid no attention. 25 You ignored my advice and rejected the correction I offered. 26 So I will laugh when you are in trouble! I will mock you when disaster overtakes you — 27 when calamity overcomes you like a storm, when you are engulfed by trouble, and when anguish and distress overwhelm you. NLT

My son is still living in his addiction and is not yet ready to admit it rules him. He is the very description of the one who turns away from wisdom. When things fall apart, he always finds someone else to blame. He refuses to admit the problem is wearing his clothes.

We have all been there, perhaps are even still fighting her. She can be brutal. Our nature is to rebel. "No, not me, I can do this on my own!" we cry, shunning the hand that reaches out to us.

Today is a new day, rather than say "neigh!" like the wild horse in fear, let's say yes to better judgment, the voice of one who's cleared the hard road before us, who understands the joy of abiding in wisdom.

We choose - wisdom and peace, or following our own desires and ultimate folly.

Lord we bow down to You, humbly letting go of our pride, submitting to Your will. Wisdom comes with fear of the Lord. We stand in awe before Your majesty. Rain down Your wisdom to our minds, give us ears to hear and the will to move according to Your purposes. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 1:11-19

2009-01-19T11:48:00.005-07:00

If they say, "Come along with us; let's lie in wait for someone's blood, let's waylay some harmless soul; 12 let's swallow them alive, like the grave, and whole, like those who go down to the pit; 13 we will get all sorts of valuable things and fill our houses with plunder; 14 throw in your lot with us, and we will share a common purse"- 15 my son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths; 16 for their feet rush into sin, they are swift to shed blood. 17 How useless to spread a net in full view of all the birds! 18 These men lie in wait for their own blood; they waylay only themselves! 19 Such is the end of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the lives of those who get it. ~ Proverbs 1:11-19

Like the hungry coyote, the enemy just waits for the one who is caught unaware, sitting idly and comfortably at the river's edge without a care.

Remember the story of the fox and the hen? She needed to get to the other side of the river. The fox said, come, I will take you across the river on my back. The hen nervously refused. But the sly fox kept at her, "surely I will not harm you, trust me." Again and again the hen backed away but at last her desire to get to the other side wore her defenses down and she climbed upon the trusted fox. As he swam to the other side, he suddenly turned and snatched her into his mouth.

Satan is beguiling, as we saw in the Garden of Eden, when he convinced Eve to indulge in the forbidden fruit. The enemy often comes masked as a charming friend or willing helper.

We have all fallen prey to such fools. Maybe it was a friend who convinced us we could have one drink or a parent who scoffs at us for trying to abstain from sweets. Consider those times and how you handled them. What might you have done differently to avoid falling into temptation? Wisdom learns from its mistakes.

These men lie in wait for their own blood; they waylay only themselves!

In the end, we all pay for our actions. Whether we are led astray or lead others down the wrong path. Prudence considers ones options carefully.

Father protect us from our own ignorance. Holy Spirit alert us to the ways of the enemy. Jesus thank You for Your word and promises - all we need is in Scripture! Trusting in the name of Jesus alone, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 1:10

2009-01-17T12:49:00.004-07:00

Prov 1:10 My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. NKJV

What entices us? Where do we get in trouble?

Parties. There is every kind of fat and sugar riddled snacks. There is often alcohol and if not, sugary beverages. Everyone else is enjoying these things, why can't I?

Commercials. We're watching our favorite show or sports and ads for beer, rich junk food, sexual enhancement products, joy-promising medications all seem to call our name tell us it's okay to indulge ourselves. After all, we deserve it don't we?

Friends. These can be the worst. It's no fun to drink alone. Misery loves company even if misery doesn't realize it's miserable. They tell us we can have one drink, on toke, one pill, one Twinkie...

What can we do to protect ourselves from this barrage of enticements? Solomon says simply, "do not consent." Easier said than done, O wise king.

What can I do to keep from consenting?

Pray: procrastinate, read, alter, yearn.

This is one time when Procrastination is a positive thing. Often times, just waiting out the craving is enough to thwart the devil's attempts to draw you into the trap. Do something else. Like pray.

Read something from the Big Book or the Bible until the craving passes.

Alter your habits. If you used to always go get a beer when a commercial came on television, opt instead to read your email, make yourself some tea, or call your sponsor.

Yearn for abstinence more than you desired your crutch. Let your recovery be your crutch. Use the tools you been given to help you on this journey.

Get on the phone and call a sponsor. Take your leave as quickly as possible and get to a meeting. Tell your friend "if you really love me, enjoy a day of sobriety with me." Invite them to a meeting with you. Get new friends. Write in your journal. If you can't avoid all the temptations at a party, don't go to the party. If you can't resist temptation when you watch commercials, get up and go do something the minute they come on. Or better yet, turn the television off and read a good book, go for a walk or meet a friend for coffee. There is an unlimited list of ways you can help yourself through the rough patches.

Whatever you do, don't consent.

Lord, thank You for this simple yet profound wisdom to help us deal with temptations. We know with the Strength of Christ, we can win every battle. We rely on You to see us through. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 1:8-9

2009-01-16T13:30:00.003-07:00

Prov 1:8-9 Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. 9 They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

Did you follow your parents' advice? Did you conform to society's rules? Did you listen to sage advice from grandparents, aunts, uncles or other significant elders in your life? Were you a compliant child?

Chances are, if you're anything like me, the answer to all of those questions is a resounding "no."

One of the reasons we're traveling this road together is that either we had little or no wise instruction from elders or we chose to plug our ears when the told us what to do.

The saving grace for me was desire. Although I was a rebel, deep down inside I always had a yearning for spiritual knowledge which ultimately drove me to seek help when addiction nailed me to the wall.

So what about now - do you still rebel against authority? Change is never easy. Although I was pretty beat up and willing to go to any lengths to get better, many times I heard myself thinking, "this I will not do." In the end, I could have saved myself a whole lot of grief because my way just didn't work. I may have stayed clean and sober, but there were plenty of white-knuckle moments due my pride telling me I could handle it, I was different.

Save yourself the trouble. You are not different. Say it with me, "I am not different. I can't do this on my own."

When my sponsor told me "no relationships" in the first year of sobriety, that included dating idiots. I didn't listen. I dated a number of mentally unstable men, telling myself they were safe because they were also on the road to recovery. This foolishness compromised my safety and sobriety. Before I'd been sober a year I was engaged to a psychopath. I praise God I didn't marry him after all.

Listen to your sponsor. If you have healthy, "normal" parents, listen to them. If you have a sibling or other relative who has it all together, watch them, talk to them, learn from them. Don't be afraid to learn from someone younger than you. I have a sister who's twelve years older than I that I prayed for and talked to for many years about recovery. She nearly died from alcohol poisoning before finally getting sober three years ago. Your bottom doesn't have to be that deep.

Seek wise counsel. Go to meetings. Journal your recovery. Praise God and pray. Live long and enjoy the journey.

Dear Lord, thank You for Solomon's wisdom. Forgive us for doing things our own way and finding ourselves in the messes we get into. Grant us the wisdom to accept the wisdom of others. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Journey Through Proverbs 1

2009-01-15T14:47:00.006-07:00

What's wrong with this picture?

We are about to embark on a voyage that may well take the rest of our lives.

As I pondered how to continue with this recovery devotional journal, I thought about going through the Psalms. But I'm doing that with my FaithWalkDaily devotion so I wanted to do something different. It occurs to me that from the Bible the best advice for those recovering from addiction is found in the book of Proverbs.

A little background for those who don't know. Proverbs were written by Solomon, son of David (great, great, great...granddaddy of Jesus.) God offered Solomon anything his heart desired. Solomon asked only for wisdom. For his humble request the Lord not only blessed him with more wisdom than anyone of his day, he also bestowed him with abundant wealth. Solomon was a very rich smart guy. We are wise to read what he had to say, as applicable today as it was when Solomon ruled Israel.

The first lesson we might learn from King Solomon's decision is God blesses the humble.

Proverbs 1:1-7
1 The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:
2 for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; 3 for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; 4 for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young —5 let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance —6 for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise. 7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

He wrote the book to pass on his wisdom to others. Believe me, writing takes time and effort, even if one loves to write as I do. Imagine the setting, back in the day, before computers, typewriters, even before ballpoint pens and college ruled spiral notebooks. He was writing on parchment with a quill pen dipped in ink. If he wrote at all. He may well have had a scribe who did all the work while the King spoke. Either way, this was no small task. There are, in all, thirty-one chapters in this book, some quite lengthy. We will only chew on a few verses at a time.

The goal in writing this book was for the sake of the reader to acquire a disciplined life, mindful of others, in manner, attitude and actions. Solomon ends the first chapter with his first morsel of wisdom: The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

One of the greatest if not the greatest tools of recovery is the wisdom of those who have gone before. I may be clean and sober 18 years but there is always someone who has walked this path longer than I, who has more to offer. We are always one bite, one sip, one snort, or one image away from falling back into the pit of our addictions.

So first, to fear the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. We must first believe God exists and realize the magnitude of His greatness (He created everything, including us, what more can be said?) What does that say about the man who does not believe God? He believes himself. He despises wisdom and discipline. He'd rather do it his own way.

You and I already know how far going our own way can take us. For me, it was right to the edge of hell. One more step into alcoholism and I would have fallen into a bottomless chasm from which there was not return.

When I called a friend from my youth who had been something of a surrogate mother to me, the beginning of wisdom was following direction when she said, "call AA." It was through AA that I came to believe in a power greater than myself and ultimately came to faith in Jesus Christ.

I'm going to expose the raw truth about me. Wisdom told me 25 years ago not to leave my three young sons to move to another state. I shunned wisdom. I despised discipline. I did it my way. As a result I lost custody and sank to the lowest depths of the bottle. It has taken me many, many years to rebuild relationships with those young men, the same you see pictured above. It's not all good now. It gets better every day, month by month, year by year. But they too now fight the beast. What's wrong with the picture? They're all hungover.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. He is a merciful and loving God who guides me in recovery to stay clean, sober and abstinent, one day at a time by the power of the Holy Spirit. He gives me wisdom to study His word and live a disciplined life. He guides me in paths of righteousness and is helps me rebuild torn relationships and heal broken hearts.

Fools despise wisdom and discipline. I praise God that I am no longer a fool, but cherish the wisdom of those who share their experience, strength and hope with me. I welcome discipline, even when it hurts. Being refined is a painful process but the final result is a sparkling gem in the crown of my Lord and Savior.

Father we come to You today hungry for Your wisdom, with desire to grow in knowledge and faith, willing to accept the refiner's fire to be tempered for Your purposes. We praise and thank You for the marvelous ways You are working in each of our lives. In Jesus' name, amen.

Starting Over

2009-01-07T09:06:00.003-07:00

On days when I was ready to give it all up and reach for the bottle, my sponsor would say, "it's okay, you can start over today." That's one of my favorite lessons of recovery. I can start over any time I need to.

Leave your foolish ways behind, and begin to live; learn how to be wise. ~Prov 9:6

Starting over doesn't mean it's okay to indulge my addiction and then repent. What it means is, a bad day doesn't last forever. We all have bad days. We can just start fresh from that point. If it does mean a slip, we can forgive ourselves and start over with new and stronger resolve to do better.

My husband and I use this in our marriage every time we bicker about something. One of us will have the heart to say, "can we just start over?" We just stop where we are, let go of the battle and resolve to forgive and forget whatever caused the tension between us. This has been a lifeline for our marriage. After 13 years of marriage, we are more in love and better in our communication every day. We continue to grow along spiritual lines together.

It's not about changing the situation, it's about changing an attitude. I can cancel my stinking thinking and come at the subject with a fresh perspective when I start over. Just take a deep breath, let go of whatever is frustrating me and go at it from a new angle.

We can all make that commitment in any area of our lives. Angry at your boss? Start over. Underwear in a bunch over traffic? Start over. Family upsetting you? Start over. Neighbors complaining about your dog? Start over.

New Year. New opportunities to approach life from new angles. Start over.

Lord, help us to leave our foolish ways behind and see things clearly from Your angle. Teach us to be wise. In Jesus' name, amen.

You're Invited...

2008-12-09T09:27:00.006-07:00

...To my Pity Party.

Bet you can't wait.

I promise to have lots of misery, whining, wailing, complaining, hopelessness, suffering, and most of all, feeling sorry for myself. Never mind what you're going through. This is my party and I'll cry if I want to.

BYOB because we're going to need lots of Boxes of Kleenex at this shindig.

Psalm 119:92, 93
If your instructions hadn’t sustained me with joy, I would have died in my misery. I will never forget your commandments, for by them you give me life.

By now you've gone through all the steps and have been skipping along in recovery with just a few hiccups (we hope - if you've been honest and sincere in working your steps, I am certain of good results.) If things have been rough or you've slipped, this would be a good time to go back to step one and see what you've missed at this point.

After awhile, if we're not careful, we can become complacent. Now unless you're Jesus Christ or the very first human ever to live life without temptation or difficulty, you're going to find yourself in some tough spots. These are times when I don't want to call for help. I don't want anyone to fix me. I just want to rut around alone in my own stuff and feel the warmth of the muck I'm wallowing in. The problem is, I can do this for a little while but eventually I miss you.

The fact is, we are human, and human beings are dependent on one another. Don't even try to tell me you don't need others. If that were true, you wouldn't be reading this. Ha, gotcha!

Because we need other people, even when we're at our worst we want someone to share it. Hence that age old expression, misery loves company. And misery will seek out anyone who will come alongside and listen. Don't think homeless people wander around out there friendless and lonely. Believe me even they have friends. They commiserate with one another. They depend on one another for survival.

People denied the company of others will sooner or later go stark raving mad.

So even when I'm at my worst, I want to share it. It's a natural inclination to seek out those who like to stay in the problem. For heaven's sake, if I call my sponsor she's going to give me some kind of sage advice for how to get out of this hole. Heaven forbid! If I call someone I know is grounded in Scripture, they're going to give me some Biblical principle for getting out of the dark. Well for Pete's sake, who said I wanted to see the light? No, I think I'll either keep it to myself and suffer silently a while longer, or I'm going to call someone who will join my pit party.

Isn't it interesting that the root word of pity is pit?

We've all seen or heard the person who comes to meeting after meeting sharing their problems and never the solutions. Those are people we want to avoid like the plague. When I don't feel like calling my sponsor, that's exactly when I need to call my sponsor. If not my sponsor, my pastor, or a good Christian friend whom I know will tell me the truth. I need to seek solutions, not drag others into my pit.

So now, here I sit with all my misery waiting for the doorbell to ring and no one comes. No one wants to come to my pity party. Gee, I think I'll call my sponsor. Maybe I can get into the solution - go to a meeting, journal some, go for coffee with a friend, write a gratitude list, call someone else who's going through a tough time and offer some encouragement...

For every pity party going on, there are lots of better places to be.

Are you having a rough day? Who will you call for help out of the pit?

Psalm 119:92, 93

If your instructions hadn’t sustained me with joy, I would have died in my misery. I will never forget your commandments, for by them you give me life.

Lord, take my hand, pull me up and out of this mire and turn me in the right direction. Your word is a lamp unto my feet, every instruction wipes away foolishness, temptation, every evil desire, instilling instead new hope and delight. I seek life in Your wisdom, joy in Your hope, faith in Your promises. Your commandments give me life. In Jesus' precious name I pray, amen.

LIVING WITH PAIN

2008-11-26T08:46:00.010-07:00

What do I do when I'm an alcoholic/drug addict in pain?

I've been sober for nearly 19 years. But during some of those years, I was dependent on pain medications. Did I lose my recovery? I don't think so and I don't think I'm in denial about this. My Doctor explained there's a difference between dependence and addiction. Addiction is a mindset. Dependence is the chemical process that occurs when the body becomes used to operating with an added substance and doesn't know how to function without it. The difference is attitude - one's state of mind.

Those of us with addictive personalities or chemistry struggle with these issues.

Before my doctor prescribed pain medications, I was suicidal. It was either get me some help or else. Although physical addiction was a natural result, I was not addicted emotionally. In fact, I hated every minute of being on those meds. It was an insidious downward spiral that finally forced me to get off them and seek other ways to live with pain.

Initially, Percoset was prescribed for nerve pain. It made me nauseous and dizzy but did little for the pain. So the doctor ADDED Neurontin, a nerve quieter, which made me plummet into depression, so he ADDED Celexa. I began having serious joint pain in my hips, knees and shoulders so he ADDED Vioxx. When I complained about lack of focus from all the medications, he ADDED Adderall for attention deficit disorder. I took all these medications for a couple years.

I became extremely suicidal. I thought of nothing else. Finally I went to my doctor and said, I need to get off the Neurontin and Percoset, it's making me crazy. She said, go off of them gradually over a couple weeks. I decided, on my own, I was just going to go off everything at once over the next couple weeks.

Immediately I began having serious migraines, vomiting and delirium. I went on like that for several days, not sleeping or eating because everything came back up. One day I knew if I didn't get help, I was going to end my life so I called my husband who came home from work and rushed me to my doctor's office. She was out but the doctor filling in for her said I was foolish to get off everything at once. He told me to stop one medication at a time gradually. It took me six months to safely get off all of them.

Now I live with pain, using only two pain relievers: prayer and blogging.

Though life is extremely hard, it even SEEMS unbearable at times, there is always hope. Without hope, I would not be writing today.

Hope for me comes when I reach out to help someone else, for that little space of time, I forget about me. One of the greatest difficulties for me is that when I'm inactive, that's when I'm most sensitive to pain. Before I had back problems I was a very active person. It was easy to overlook every struggle in life because I was always busy at something and often busy at helping someone else.

For me, blogging gets me out of myself. Writing several blogs regularly is helpful. In addition to this journal, there's a blog on faith and another on photography and I'm about to start one on family issues. I'm no expert on any of these subjects and whether they really do anyone else any good or not, I can't say. But they do release me from self for a period of time which is a very good natural pain killer.

Since I'm not able to work, I've started several websites. None of them are making any money at this point. But it's all a learning process and the idea is to keep busy so I don't feel like a worthless bum while my dear husband works his fingers to the bone (literally-he's a mechanic) to take care of us. It's also my hope, dream and prayer that at some point, the work I put into my online business will pay off and I'll be a financial contributor and able to support myself should anything happen to my husband.

I also have a prayer ministry that keeps me busy updating another website and praying for the needs of other people.

Speaking of prayer, I'd like to pray for you now. May you find something that draws you out of your pain and into something constructive that brings you joy and peace.

Heavenly Father, You amaze me with all the stories of men who failed, men attacked by the devil who fell so far from grace and yet You lifted them up. Because of our depravity You poured that part of You that created the world into the womb of Mary to come into this world to walk with us and teach us Your ways. You lived the kind of life You want us to live for peace, joy, fulfillment and all good things. You walked a lonely road, suffered unbearable pain, and were crucified for our transgressions. None of it makes any sense to me Lord, perhaps it never will. But I know Your love is deeper than the deepest oceans, wider than all space. I know You forgive us and You will never leave nor forsake Your precious creation. Thank You for Jesus, thank You for friends in recovery who share my struggles, reaching out to help and for help. Thank You for what You're about to do in their lives. Father, I don't know who believes in You. I don't know whether there are agnostics or even die-hard atheists reading this. But whether they believe in You or not is of no consequence because You believe in them. You who created us know every cell in every persons body and all the trauma they've experienced. O Lord, I cry out to You now on their behalf. Abba Father, as You forgave David for lust, adultery, murder and foolishness, You forgave Peter for denying You, I now ask You to forgive us for our unbelief, our trusting in our own ways and leaning on our own ignorant understanding rather than seeking Your wisdom. Forgive us for every shred of pride and hopelessness as we come before You now with our request. Pour out healing on each one who suffers now. Pour it into their cells, muscles, nerves, down through the spine, into their skin, from head to toe and in every inch of the body. Would Your healing grace permeate the soul and mind, penetrating the deepest reaches of consciousness. O Holy Spirit, would You move in them now, that they would hear Your voice and recognize You, would each one feel Your love and mercy, and know Your peace. Wrap Your comforting arms around them and soothe their aches and pains. Should this pain and struggle continue in their lives, I pray for Your wisdom, discernment and strength to deal with it. There are many who suffer and are not healed but You use them in marvelous ways just as they are. I think of the Apostle Paul and all that he accomplished despite a constant "thorn in his flesh." I think of Joni Erickson Tada who suffered terribly and has done incredible things to help others. I think of all the good things that are happening in medical technology for the future of others by our own suffering now, and know none of it is coincidental, but by design. Would all be done according to Your purposes for Your glory. In Jesus' precious name I pray, amen.

Cyberhugs,
anne
http://www.colocolors.com/
http://www.biblegamesplus.com/
http://www.lightinspired.blogspot.com/
http://www.recoverystreet.blogspot.com/
http://www.tospeakfreely.blogspot.com/

Who's Judging Whom

2008-11-13T08:14:00.004-07:00

James 4:11-12
11 Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you-who are you to judge your neighbor?

My journaling often comes as a result of someone else's difficulties which trigger memories in me about something related.

This morning I was reminded of what it is to feel the persecution of others and spend way too much time harboring anger, anxiety, hurt and a whole host of other negative feelings.

As a child, I was a little pudgy, always wrinkled with unbrushed hair and just plain natty. My mother was the only working mother in my neighborhood, a single Mom who did what she had to to take care of her family. As a result we were what they call today latch-key kids.

Mom fed my sister and me a hot egg breakfast every morning before she boarded the bus for her hour-long commute to downtown where she worked. After breakfast we were on our own. So I would yank a wrinkled dress out of the ironing box and put it on, dashing out of the house looking like a rag doll that had been under a pile of stuffed animals in the closet for a few years.

As a child, I didn't understand why I was shunned by the other kids. After school, I drowned my low self-esteem in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chunks of butter, and other rich foods. Mom was kind of a health freak so it was, to my way of thinking now, an act of God that we had no chips or cookies around our house because I know I would have eaten them all.

As an adult, I became an alcoholic. Alcohol allowed me not only to live comfortably in my own skin, it also puffed up my ego. I was the best at everything I did - always showed up to work early every day no matter what and worked my tail-end off missing breaks and lunch. In public I had to prove there was nobody better than me while at home I drowned my loneliness and sorrow with lots of beer.

Becoming a Christian turned all that around. Although I had gotten sober in AA 4 years before I came to faith in Christ, I was still pretty arrogant and even after taking all the steps had incredibly low self-esteem and a strong persecution complex.

There was a time in my life when I adamantly declared I didn't care what people thought of me. Then one day I realized I not only cared, I had become a chameleon, adjusting my personality and plans to fit in to my social sphere.

It has taken me many years of prayer, reading God's word, counseling, and trusting God for the transformation of my mind and heart. I experienced one kind of transformation the day I committed my life to my Savior. But the circumcision of the heart has been a slow and arduous process.

Through this growth I've come to realize two very important lessons: The first is that what others think of me is of little importance. I no longer lean on my pride for the strength to face my tormentors, but on the promise of Phil. 4:13 which reminds me my strength is in Jesus.

The second lesson is that most people are just as worried about what we think of them as we are about what they think about us. In fact, they probably spend a lot more time being concerned about themselves. If they come across judgmental or arrogant, chances are it's no more than a facade to cover what they really feel. Most snooty people are just as broken inside as the rest of us.

We have the light of Christ. We have fellowship with brothers and sisters in our church. We have the understanding of others in our program of recovery. We have the steps to help us grow even as we grow in faith. We have a sponsor to encourage us. Most of all, we have Jesus.

So the next time we're concerned about someone judging us, let's look at it from their perspective and see them as God does; a broken sinful human who's problems we can't even fathom. Then we can ask ourselves, who's judging whom?

Heavenly Father, You are so righteous and holy, yet merciful and loving. You know every crack in our form and gently work diligently in our hearts and minds to mold us according to Your plans. Help us to see through Your eyes today, to be a light to the world. Help us not to judge, not to be concerned about being judged and to trust in Your judgment alone. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

Recovery Sponsorship

2008-10-29T11:53:00.003-06:00

~Heb 6:10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

If your new in the program people may ask if you've found a sponsor yet. This is someone who has gone through the steps and maintains recovery from his or her addiction through continuing to work the program who will come alongside you as you walk the same path.

A sponsor is nothing more, nothing less, than a mentor. Take advantage of the opportunity to pick the brain of someone who's taken the high road to make it easier on yourself.

Look for someone who thinks like you do. If you're extremely independent and don't take direction well, a demanding person who expects you to call them every day might not be the right choice for you.

You'll want to consider someone who is like-minded about faith. Sharing your deep convictions about Jesus may not go over so well with a Jewish or atheist sponsor.

You may want to seek out a mentor who shares your difficulties. Those with anorexia and/or bulimia have unique issues that not all compulsive over eaters can understand. An alcoholic from a wealthy lifestyle may not relate well to the guy who's been homeless. The addict dealing with meth addiction is in a much different place than someone addicted to prescription pain killers.

For me, a mentor is an encourager, one who holds me accountable, a counselor and a prayer partner. She will be a good listener, will pray before offering advice, and will always tell me what she really thinks. She must be able to discern where I'm falling off track to gently guide me back in the right direction.

A good sponsor will help you grow in faith as you grow in recovery. I'm blessed to have a sponsor that suits my needs perfectly.

There came a day when someone saw something in my program they could relate to and asked me to sponsor them. It was a bit intimidating at first. But as I prayed, I realized, it's not about what I do or say that will make the difference in anyone's recovery. It's all about how I live and sharing what worked to help me overcome my addictions. What was given to me by my sponsor is shared with those I sponsor. And that's how it works. I follow direction and pass it on.

May you also be blessed with just the right someone to lead you up the steps of recovery. God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

Father, guide each one to the person who can best help them grow along spiritual lines to recover from whatever holds them back from becoming the person You intended. May we fulfill the purposes You've set for each of us for Your glory. Until Jesus returns, in His name we pray, amen.

Taking Daily Inventory - Righting the Wrongs

2008-10-27T15:18:00.005-06:00

~ Prov 14:9 Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.

The tenth step tells us to continue to take personal inventory and when we're wrong, promptly admit it. If it seems a bit daunting to have to review your actions and make amends every day, let me put your mind at rest.

As you've surely learned by now, any new habit takes about 21 days to establish. The longer we commit ourselves to our new habit, the easier it becomes. In time, this daily review will be as natural as brushing your teeth before bed.

Sometimes you'll find little things to correct like snapping at your spouse over something unimportant or forgetting to call someone you promised to call back. Those are easily rectified stumbles. It's important to remember the amends is not just saying "I'm sorry I hurt you." It's an apology with intent to change behavior. Has snapping at people when you don't get your way become your standard reaction? What might you do to respond in a more acceptable way?

Then there are the bigger messes we must clean up and sometimes they can't be done so quickly, but the outcome shoud be the same - how will I handle this differently in the future?

One day I picked up my prints in the photo department of Walgreens and noticed some comfy yoga pants in a sale bin. I grabbed a couple pair on my way out, noting that one pair was a much nicer quality and had a higher price tag on it. I assumed the sale price would show up at the register which often happens. However, the items rang up at different prices.

When I told the clerk the pants were both on the sale table, she called for the assistant manager who adamantly insisted I pay the full price for the better pants. By now I was getting angry and pushed my point on principle. I argued that where I came from and was trained in retail sales, the customer was always right. Now the assistant manager called for the manager. This young man immediately apologized and told the girls to deduct the higher value and charge the sale price. I went home smug and happy. But it didn't last long.

I couldn't sleep that night. I laid awake thinking I could have better demonstrated a life in Christ by humbly conceding to pay the full price - after all, it was only a difference of three dollars. I resolved to repay the difference and finally went to sleep. The next morning I wrote a check for the difference plus tax and mailed it along with a letter of apology for being such a nuisance and disrupting the employees routine. I wrote that, as a Christian, I realized I was not setting a good example to the world, I was ashamed of my behavior, and I hoped they would not judge other Christians by my foolish actions and attitude.

It felt like a 200 pound barbell was taken off my shoulders. A few days later I received a letter from the local Walgreens. I was sure it was some sort of "thanks for your honesty." It was much more than that, the manager returned my check with a note saying, "the customer is always right. We should have been more careful to keep our merchandise in it's proper place."

This situation was full of lessons for all involved. Think about each person and how they were affected by a simple amends - including me, perhaps most of all. Do you see how your actions might shine the light of Christ for a watching world?

Daily inventory is crucial for our continued recovery.

As you travel this road of recovery, may God remind you to stop often, review your actions, and get back on track wherever you've strayed. Would you know that unsurpassable peace as a result of keep your side of the street well cleaned. In Jesus' name, amen.

What Can I Do..

2008-10-26T07:50:00.003-06:00

A man who turned my world upside down asked me once, "why do you give someone a gift?"

"Because it makes them happy," I said.

"Why do you give a gift?" he repeated with emphasis, indicating "think about it."

"Because it makes them happy," I replied, "...and that makes me happy."

He then turned around and walked away to leave me pondering my own words.

About a year later, less than a year before I came to recovery, another man told me I was self-centered. This shocked me terribly.

Wasn't I a giving person? Wasn't I always the one buying a round of drinks? giving gifts to people for no reason? Sending a note of encouragement to someone out of the blue? How could he think me self-centered?

He was right. A few months later I found myself in San Diego, sitting in a roomful of strangers announcing that I needed help. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time.

Until that day, I was self-reliant, self-motivated, self-actuated, self-honoring, and self-indulged. I often found myself wandering through the self-help aisles of the local bookstore.

Through a long, slow process and many years of self-searching, I've discovered that when I'm the center of my universe, nothing works right.

When God is the center of my universe, everything works perfectly. He has given us just two commands, from Matthew 22:37-40, which cover all the laws of the universe:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength.

Love you neighbor as yourself.

When I'm in sync with God, when I'm loving Him to the max, I do love myself and feel good about life and everything I face. Difficulties become nothing more than challenges that I know God will see me through. Good times radiate brilliantly and make me feel like I'm dancing on air.

To love my neighbor is to serve my neighbor.

And when I'm having a difficult time, the greatest way for me to draw close to God, is to serve others - to love my neighbor.

I don't write this blog for my sake. Shortly after I began a new program of recovery, the Holy Spirit stirred my heart to share my experience, strength and hope with whoever in the universe might benefit from it. This is a commitment I don't take lightly. I journal what's on my heart, knowing if there is someone out there who needs to be encouraged by these words, God will direct her here.

The side effect, I begin to see things more clearly, find new hope for my own recovery, and draw closer to God in the process.

So when I'm having a bad day, I ask God, "what can I do for my neighbor?"

Heavenly Father, You are indeed amazing and wonderful. How I love and adore You and the way You've woven the world together like one huge tapestry, every thread a marvel as it merges with those around it. Without You, we are nothing. With You, anything is possible. You are our strength, our hope, our joy and our very salvation. Thank You! Show us how we might better serve those around us today, in order that we be God-centered, not self-centered. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Who's Renting Space in Your Head

2008-10-22T10:04:00.004-06:00

I've learned that no matter how good my intent, there are just some resentments that are a lot more difficult to let go of, even after I've made my amends.

It's unsettling, to say the least, when you've done all you can, hoping the wicked tenants of your mind whom you've evicted have moved on, and they suddenly reappear uninvited.

Have you heard of the twenty-one day prayer patch? Well then, settle in, I'm here to tell you about it.

It's said a thing will become a habit if one repeats an action for twenty-one days in a row. The same theory is applied to praying for a person who's renting space in your head and refuses to leave. If you pray for them, you'll find peace.

Here's the difficult part: you must pray for them as if you were praying for your own desires.

Pray for their well being, good health, prosperity, joy...anything you would wish for yourself. And pray it with heart, from the heart of Jesus. In the old days I was told, if you don't feel it, act as if - go through the motions and in time the feelings will follow. But I live in a new skin today, covered by the blood of Jesus. I don't have to fake anything anymore because I trust His promises.

Trust me on this, if you are a Christian who truly loves and lives for Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit will give you both the heart and the words to pray. I just started a twenty-one day siege against a resentment this morning and the Holy Spirit was faithful to give me the words I couldn't come up with.

One day at a time, I'll send this demon packing, through the power of prayer in Jesus my Savior!

Jesus my Savior, my friend, thank You that You have shown us the way of forgiveness, that You have covered all sin by Your precious blood, that You sent the Holy Spirit to guide us always as You sit at the right hand of God in heaven. We rely on Your wisdom, strength, love and mercy now to do the right thing and let go of unhealthy resentments that block our recovery. Help us day by day, moment by moment to turn these things over, to lay them at the foot of the cross and walk away refreshed in Your care. In Your precious name we pray, amen.

Who Am I?

2008-10-21T10:13:00.003-06:00

Eighteen plus years ago when I got sober through the principles and practices of AA, I found myself wondering one day, just who am I?

For as long as I can remember, I was always stuffing something into my mouth for comfort and validation of my existence. As a child it was food. By the age of eleven I'd discovered drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. (And then of course years later after overcoming those addictions I turned to food again.) I hid behind those vices for so many years that my true personality was never free to develop. Stripped of my mantle, I found myself sudenly standing naked in the universe without a clue.

My quest for discovering me began when early in my walk of sobriety someone asked me if I'd like to go bowling. My immediate response was, "sure, why not."

But suddenly, for the first time in my life, at 34 years of age, I actually thought for myself. I asked myself, "would I like to go bowling? Hm. Do I like bowling? Let's see, I have to rent smelly ugly shoes that other people have worn, put my fingers into the holes of a 10 pound spherical rock, practically yanking them half out of their joints, somehow manage to not look like a fool as I jog to lane, aim this weight and throw it straight down the middle without ripping my arm from it's socket, all with the hopes of knocking over a bunch of pins that I swear are tacked to the floor at the other end.

"No, I'm sorry, I don't think I like bowling. But thanks for asking."

Soon I found myself wondering, what kind of clothes do I like? Do I like cosmetics? If bowling isn't it, what do I like to do for fun? Am I athletic or artistic? More intellectual or contextual? Introverted or extroverted? There were thousands of questions to be answered. It was like meeting and getting to know a new friend.

There are still a lot of unanswered questions almost 19 years later. But I have a much better sense of who anne is now. The person I loathed, has turned out to be just alright.

I like writing, photography, art, walking in the woods, autumn, snow, and all changes of season, flowers, babies, Scrabble, cats, rabbits, books, sunsets and sunrises, watching wild animals, waterfalls, a picnic by a stream, living in Colorado, historically correct ficitonal movies, movies that don't rely on explicit sex and foul language to sell, old black and white movies, people who love God and strive to grow closer to Him, Bible study, the smell of photo chemicals, manipulating photos in Photoshop, poetry, singing praise songs (even though I have no range,) going to church on Sunday, spending time with my close friends, learning new things and listening to contemporary Christian music...

Okay, enough. I could go on but I won't bore you. It was kind of fun realizing all the neat things I've discovered about myself :-)

Perhaps today you're in the same place I was so long ago. Take some time to look at that person you've been covering up for so long. Love yourself enough to take time to get to know you. Without self love, you'll have nothing to give. And giving is where all the joy is.

Who are you? What do you like? Go ahead, take some time to think about it. Perhaps even write a list. Write a story. Write a love letter to you.

O Lord, thank You for removing the shroud so that we can finally see ourselves as You do. Help each of us today to be attentive to the me You've created in Christ Jesus, to do the work You've already planned in advance for me to do. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Let Go and Let God

2008-10-20T14:29:00.005-06:00

It's hard sometimes to listen to those little program cliches - especially when you're in the middle of something you really don't want to let go of!

While I'm mid 9th step on a number of amends, there's one issue that keeps coming back up again and again, like having my nose rubbed in a pile of manure.

These are the moments when I almost see my loving Father in heaven gazing down on me with tender eyes, asking, "are you going to let me handle this with you or will you carry it around by yourself until the weight of it presses you flat on the ground? What's it going to be child?"

I'm like a prize fighter who doesn't know when to stay down - I just keep getting up and taking another punch. If I had enough sense to surrender, perhaps I could avoid a lot of pain and scars.

When I'm caught up in a resentment, I behave irrationally.

Letting go doesn't mean not taking action. It means changing my focus, changing my mindset, tuning into God's word rather than the negative garbage on the merry-go-round in my feeble mind. Sometimes it's necessary to just shut up and put up. Do the next thing. Take the next step. Even if I'm plodding along at a snails pace, going forward is better than standing still, ruminating in my anger.

~ Prov 3:13 Blessed is the man who finds wisdom,the man who gains understanding.

Today, I choose to let go and let God help me deal with whatever I must face. I will seek the wisdom of God to guide my way.

Think On These Things

2008-10-18T06:42:00.005-06:00

One of my favorite verses in Scripture is Philippians 4:8 ~ Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

I can be awfully negative. On days when things aren't going well, I focus on the negative in everything I look at - TV ads, people, my house, drivers, street conditions, traffic lights, grocery store lines - you name it. Everything is against me, damaged, stupid or constructed poorly. I know 'cause I'm so perfect, right? WRONG.

One day a woman I know was complaining about her husband's mother - "My mother-in-law is controlling, whiny, mean, critical, a hypochondriac and she hates me," she said. And I sat staring at her thinking, "you just described yourself and how you feel about her."

Surely we've all heard the admonition about finger pointing - when I point one at you there are three pointing back at me. If I'm looking at the mote in someone else's eye, it might be a good idea to check out the tele-pole in my own and get rid of it first.

I can choose my attitude at any given moment no matter what kind of day I'm having. Stinkin' thinkin' can be turned into an opportunity to count my blessings. Don't balk, I didn't say it would be easy. I said it was doable.

When I take all those negative thoughts and turn them into a gratitude list, I suddenly realize how great and wonderful God is - that if I truly got what I deserved, I'd already be dead and smokin' in hell! So lets refocus right now and reflect on the things Paul suggests.

What is true? God loves us (John 3:16), God is good (Mic. 5:4), everything God does is for our good (Rom. 8:28), God promises to care for us (Psalm 23:1) God is everlasting (Rev. 1:8.)

What is noble? God is King of Kings (1 Tim. 6:15), Jesus went to the cross for us (Acts 2:23), the apostles traveled great distances and at great risk to bring the gospel to us for salvation (Acts 8:25.)

What is right? That I study and memorize Scripture (Heb. 8:10), to not lose heart and continue doing good (Heb. 12:3), God has a purpose for my life (Eph. 2:10), I can call someone in the program for support and guidance, I can journal about what troubles me, I can pray (1 Thes. 5:17.)

What is pure? Jesus. A rushing crisp clear mountain spring. Early morning in the country when the dew rests on fields of corn. A newborn baby before tainted by the world.

What is lovely? A meadow of purple lupine spread before a placid lake in the early morning mist. A sunset over the ocean. A full moon set amongst the stars on a clear night viewed from an unpopulated mountain.

What is admirable? A missionary reaching out to the poverty stricken in a war torn nation. Serving as a volunteer in the program or a hospital. Visiting a lonely soul in a nursing home. Writing a letter to a soldier at war.

If anything is excellent or praiseworthy - working the steps; getting a sponsor; taking sound advice from your sponsor; sharing your experience, strength and hope with others in the program; sponsoring someone; taking charge of your own recovery and being responsible.

Think about such things.

And then Paul says in verse nine, "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

O Lord, how marvelous Your ways, how perfect Your plans. You have taken care of ever detail to make life on earth work like a well oiled machine. Yet we have somehow managed to muck up just about everything we've touched with our sin. Forgive us Father. Forgive us for our selfishness, For our bad attitude and complaining, for forgetting that our reward is not here on earth but in heaven, for forgetting the price Jesus paid for our sakes. We are truly sorry and humbled Lord, that You have provided all we need and we've taken it for granted; failed to be grateful. Thank You Jesus for the cross. Thank You for Your forgiveness. Thank You for all that we are, have and do. Thank You for the trials that strengthen us for Your purposes. Guide us now by Your Holy Spirit, show us the way to go. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

CONVICITON

2008-10-16T07:49:00.005-06:00

The word conviction can have a pretty scary connotation for many of us who have walked for any length of time in our addictions. If we're recovering from drugs or alcohol abuse, we may have serious offenses in our records to deal with in recovery. I know a compulsive over-eater who stole food and was dismissed from a job for doing so. Convictions are not necessarily in the courts and ending in jail sentences. Sometimes the sentence turns a person's whole life in a different direction. My friend lost a license to practice medicine.

The meditation from the online Christian recovery loop I read this morning was, “The beginning of my recovery was the concept of God being on my side – that I wasn’t left with only my own resources in this world.” Along with that was this question:

How does it make you feel to know that God is on your side? How does it affect the way you live your life?

Then I read this Scripture which I received from K-LOVE radio:

May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God. ~ Philippians 1:11

And of course, what jumped out at me was, "the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ..." That's where I got stuck in a groove like a scratched old record. It keeps playing over and over in my head. Why? Because I struggle daily with that old self, that sin nature, that whiny, bratty, irritable old nag who snaps at those she loves most because she hasn't got enough self-discipline to concentrate on what " willl bring much glory and praise to God."

If I weren't convicted by the Holy Spirit, I would just go on about my business like the rest of the world, being a whiny, bratty, irritable old nag snapping at everyone because I wouldn't give a hoot about discipline - like it or lump it. That's exactly how I used to be. I simply didn't care what anyone thought of me or how I reacted to things.

There was a transformation that took place the day I committed my heart to Jesus Christ. It was immediate and profound. My soul began to thirst for righteousness. When I fail to live up to God's standards, you can bet the Holy Spirit is there to lovingly remind me. God is on my side. The old me still tries to run the show, but praise God, He is patient, loving and merciful. When He convicts me, I am not sent to prison. By the blood of Jesus I am free. No, God speaks to my heart like a loving parent, He disciplines me with a verbal spanking, turns me in the right direction again, and sends me on my way. While the Holy Spirit convicts me of my shortcomings, He also convicts me of His love and forgiveness! God is on my side.

Radio evangelist Pastor David Jeremiah of Shadow Mountain Church once said, "if Satan reminds you of where you've been, remind him where he's going."

In other words, Satan is a liar and I don't need to listen to him.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. ~ 2 Cor 5:17-18.

While I still stumble and fall down, I am not the woman I used to be. Satan has no power to convict me and the One who convicts me has all power to move me toward righteousness.

Be convicted of this: Progress, not Perfection! It is after all, a lifelong journey. Be convicted. Be willing to see your shortcomings. But by all means, seek righteousness, for the glory of God.
God is on our side.

O most gracious and loving God of heaven and earth, we are humbled in Your presence. You have all the power to convict us and send us to everlasting prison. But in Your loving kindness, You chose instead to wear our skin, to bear our burdens, to walk in shame, be broken, bruised and lashed, and die the death we deserved, to wipe away our sins. All this to show us Your unfailing love and mercy. O Father, how can we thank You? All You've asked is, "follow me." Yes, Lord, yes! Here I am, send me! We praise You and thank You that You are God almighty. We confess our inability to be righteous on our own. We confess our temptations, our stumbles, our daily failures to be Your righteousness. Forgive us Lord, and cleanse us. Purified and freed by the blood of Christ, we humbly seek Your guidance and strength this day, moment by moment, so that we might bear fruit to glorify You. Would the way we live today, reflect the transformation of Jesus in our lives. With You on our side, who can come against us? (Romans 8:31) Would it effect the way we live for Your glory, because You are on our side.

Change

2008-10-13T16:46:00.003-06:00

I don't know about you, but I have a love/hate relationship with change.

On the one hand, I love new things, going to places I've never been, meeting new people, even starting over in a new home.

Then there's that other kind of change. Letting go of bad habits. A new job or ministry. A new leader in the ministry who does things differently than the last person in the position. The city puts in a new stoplight at my corner that causes me to have to wait to make that left turn now. When they take my favorite dish off the menu at a restaurant I frequent. When I'm having a bad attitude or a pity party.

Changes that make me unhappy are the result of two factors in my life: Fear and lack of control. Either I'm afraid of losing something or being inadequate to the task, or someone has taken away my control over things or circumstances.

I've been through some tremendously difficult changes in my life over the past 10 years and by the grace of God didn't drink, use drugs or commit murder. But those changes have required some major adjustments in my life, some of them I'm not too happy about. I'm afraid for my future because of inability to earn income and I'm angry that I can't control my body in the way I'd like - I'm unable to do things and go places I want. And I'm now facing another surgery that both terrifies me and infringes on my ability to control my life.

When I sit here screaming "why God? Why must I bear this thorn in my side?" I catch myself and have to follow it with "why am I so fortunate to still be able to do my own laundry, make my own bed, cook my own meals, clean my own bathrooms...when there are people out there on a respirator?"

When I sit here in my anger, I have to put things in perspective, and count it as an opportunity to pray for strength, endurance, and hope and praise God.

The serenity prayer is a beautiful way to deal with any situation:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
(other people, circumstances, things that are beyond my realm of influence)
The courage to change the things I can...
(my attitude, my perspective, my decisions)
And the wisdom to know the difference.

...which is often difficult to decipher!

People, places, circumstances - everything on this earth - changes. God never does - Mal 3:6 "I the LORD do not change..." God has all wisdom and is always in control. So no matter what's going on, I know I can handle it with God on my side.

For the good changes, praise God! For the uncomfortable changes, praise God. For everything, praise God. Because today I don't have to eat, drink, or smoke my troubles away. Just for today, I can let God handle everything. Praise God!

Heavenly Father, I long for that serenity that comes with acceptance - that peace that surpasses all understanding. I yearn for the courage to boldly change those things in me that don't please You and adversely affect others. I seek Your wisdom in all things, so that I can proceed according to Your plans. Thy will, not mine, be done. In Jesus name, amen.

Fear

2008-10-11T19:37:00.002-06:00

I am afraid of not being loved, of losing my recovery, of the unknown. I'm insecure about my financial situation. I'm afraid of my physical condition - especially of deterioration.

I'm 52 years old and have the physical disabilities of an 80 year old.

Ps 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation — whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid?

Ps 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. 9 Fear the LORD, you his saints,for those who fear him lack nothing.

I know that I have nothing to fear but God. Fear of God is a good thing. It isn't fear in the sense of terror, but in the sense of awe and amazement - He is all powerful and could squash me if that pleased Him. He is Holy and merciful and would never hurt me. But it is worth noting that many times in the Old Testament Scriptures, God wiped out individuals and even entire nations because they refused to repent and turn to Him.

So whom shall I fear? I fear God alone. No matter what I fear on earth, nothing should motivate me more than fear of my own disobedience. For the consequences are loss. God blesses the faithful. If I want to maintain recovery, be loved, feel financially secure, and find contentment in my physical condition, in obedience to God, He provides for all my needs - spiritual, emotional and physical.

Father in Heaven You are holy. You are the God of the universe who created us and sends every breath into our lungs. Lord, my desire is to release all earthly fears to You, to trust in You alone, to fear You with due honor and glory. Would You infuse in me, by the power of Your Holy Spirit, the strength of Jesus, the courage to face each day with joy, and the hope that is in You alone. You are my LORD, my light and salvation — whom shall I fear? You are the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid? In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired...

2008-10-10T13:18:00.017-06:00

Now that I've finished the Steps, am I at the end of the road? Have I arrived?

Far from it. This is a lifetime journey. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is a wonderful tool for discovering and recovering but let's face it, this is 2008, nearly 2009. We need to look at recovery in light of the world we live in which is a whole lot different than in the 1950's.

Imagine the kinds of commercials we see on TV today broadcasting between episodes of Andy Griffith and Father Knows Best in the early 1960's... Slinky women slithering across the sceen during prime time; ads for feminine products; Viagra; contraception; abortion clinics...These things would have been considered in very bad taste if not outright illegal.

We are tempted by things today our forefathers in recovery didn't have thrown in their faces every five minutes, sitting in their own homes. We live in a new world and must be prepared to face our tempters. We need to be fit for the fight. There are some conditions that we have to avoid in order to stand firm against our enemies...

...Enemies of recovery. When I'm hungry, angry, lonely or tired, I'm more vulnerable to reaching for a quick fix. These are the times when Satan comes hissing in my ear, "what's the use anyway? It'll make you feel better, go ahead. Eat that bag of chips. Drink that bottle of wine. Swallow those pills." He entices me to give in to that base urge, that chasm in the gut that screams at me to be filled.

Hungry - feed the spirit on Scripture.

8 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, 9 for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. ~Ps 107:8-9

Angry - soothe the spirit with Scripture.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;do not fret — it leads only to evil. 9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land. ~Ps 37:8-9

Lonely - comfort the spirit with Scripture. Call someone.

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. ~2 Cor 1:3-4

Tired - rest the spirit with Scripture. And let yourself rest. Take a nap. Go to bed early.
28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~Matt 11:28-29

Scripture is the universal answer to every problem. It is the balm that soothes the soul, refreshment for your mind, and sustenance for your heart - not the words but the One from whom the words emanate. He calls us by name, He wants to fill every need. Whenever the enemy stalks you with his lies, run to the One with all the answers. He will lift you up!

Father, hide me in Your wings, heal the wounds, feed my soul. Take away all that separates me from You and draw me near. In Your presence I find comfort. In You I find rest. In You I am satiated. In You, the storm is but a breeze. By the blood of Jesus, In His loving care, I am safe in You, amen.

8 - STEPS TEN THROUGH TWELVE

2008-10-08T14:01:00.010-06:00

Steps 10, 11 & 12

Wow, we're at the top of the mountain and what a view! I may still be carrying some baggage - amends aren't made in a day. But we've reached the apex of this amazing journey and it feels good to look at where we've come from. With each amends we grow stronger, more confident, more resolute in our recovery.

Now, in Step 10 we look daily at our actions and attitudes and make immediate amends for any error along the way.

Before bed, we review our day, thanking God for all we did right and confessing anything that led us astray. We seek God daily, morning and evening, for praise, thanksgiving, confession and guidance. This is the 11th Step.

I love the ACTS method of prayer, because it follows the leading of Jesus as He taught the disciples in the Lords prayer.

Adoration (praise God for who He is, not what He does...holy, creator, magnificant, majestic, mighty...)
Confession (sincere and repentent)
Thanksgiving (for everything including trials of all kinds)
Supplication (seeking the desires of our hearts in accordance with God's will.)

All of these steps have certainly led us to a spiritual awakening - an awareness of both our difficulties and victories. We have a testimony to tell! Let's not take that lamp and put it under a bushel, but share it with others in need. The 12th Step should find us shouting God's glory from the top of the ladder!

The world is full of seeking people; those seeking God and those seeking recovery from the pains of living in a sinful world. Now you have an opportunity to take what you've learned and share it with others. You can do that by serving your local recovery group meetings, sponsoring people in your recovery program, online recovery service and many other ways. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you according to His plans and purposes for your life.

From here on out, we'll meet for a daily devotion based on Biblical concepts as they relate to recovery. I look forward to sharing my heart with you as often as possible. If I miss a few days, please keep checking back - I may be away on ministry or just taking a break. My call is to write and pray so I'll always be back :-)

See you on the road to recovery!

In the love of Jesus,
anne, addicted to The Savior

7 - STEPS EIGHT AND NINE

2008-10-06T13:01:00.007-06:00

We were willing have God remove our defects of character and prayed that He would, according to page 76, Into Action...

We now find ourselves at Step 8. We make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all. This list is created from our moral inventory, the list we created at Step 4. The new list will differ in that we're only looking at what we've done that has caused another person problems or harm and how we might make amends to them.

At last we reach Step 9, what I believe to be the key to our freedom. If there is anything we are unwilling to clean up, we will never overcome our addictions. That is why we made a searching and fearless moral inventory. Take a deep breath. This may seem insurmountable in some cases but do not face this mountain as though you walk alone. Your "Shirpa" walks with you. Trust that the Holy Spirit can and will guide you through every moment of this process until the last amends is made.

In some cases the amends might be directed by the person we owe an apology to. What would they like us to do to make up for our affront?

There may be some instances of having to pay back a person or business for something stolen or abused, in which case it is wise to tack on a fair amount for interest in our restitution.

Perhaps there are some we can only make amends to over the long term by a change in attitude or behavior. This is likely the case for healing broken relationships with family members and sometimes these amends take years.

Some people we owe amends to may not be found or are no longer living. These can be handled with a heartfelt letter and prayers.

Finally, there are some who are far away whom we can only deal with by phone or letter.

God's word doesn't say alot about amends but what it does say is poignant. The Gibeonites were sworn to protection by Israel and King Saul attacked them. David saw fit to clean up the mess on behalf of his people and those they'd made a promise to.

2 Sam 21:33 David asked the Gibeonites, "What shall I do for you? How shall I make amends?

Proverbs 14:8-9
The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.
9 Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.

In all cases, amends should be handled with prayer. Personally, I believe wise counsel should be sought for each instance from a sponsor or spiritual leader such as your pastor. Share your ideas on how you think you should best make amends. Listen and accept feedback and advice about how best to proceed. Especially in the case of writing letters. Have someone proof read and edit before sending to be sure you're reader receives a genuine heartfelt apology and not empty words. You'll also want to be careful to write when you're in the right frame of mind and heart.

I was just ready to write a letter to my sister when something happened that put a bad taste in my mouth which would interfere with the sincere desire I had to patch things up with her. It became necessary to put that one on the back burner until I could write with a loving heart.

Pray and allow the Holy Spirit to speak through you so that God will be glorified.

Father, we want to be like Jesus - always honest but sharing the truth in love. Help us now with all those we have offended, to make our amends in ways that will benefit the recipient and glorify You. Would You guide and direct our voices and actions to reflect the light of Christ. In Jesus' precious name we pray, amen.

6 - STEPS FIVE THROUGH SEVEN

2008-10-02T10:24:00.011-06:00

Finding Hope to Move On

It is my fervant hope and prayer that you're continuing to work on the steps. This is a difficult and pivotal moment in recovery that requires brutal honesty -with yourself and another.

At out last meeting, we talked about writing that searching and fearless moral inventory. Maybe looking at your past in such a way was a real downer for you. It didn't exactly make me feel like celebrating. There were lots of people I was sore at, but even worse, I'd given plenty of folks good reason to resent me. Facing the next step and sharing all this garbage with another human being was indeed a daunting concern.

In completing Step 5, you will find, if done correctly, a deep desire to set things right, to repent. This will take more courage than any of us has on our own. We need hope that it won't all be for naught. We need hope just to get up an face tomorrow, amen?

In Steps 6 and 7, we're entirely ready to have our shortcomings removed and humbly ask God to do so. For we know by our own power we haven't a chance. I would like to add at this point, that we must also trust and believe that God will divinely intervene in order that we might overcome these defects of character.

Our hope is in the One who created and saved us. Today, I want to share with you the hope that keeps me going no matter what.

Whatever you're going through today, you can stay clean, sober, abstinent - free of whatever addiction has a hold on you - through the hope we have in Jesus. He is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6.) Looking at His willingness to do whatever necessary for our salvation, we find hope to continue on this path for God's glory.

Visit my daily faith blog for further encouragement. FaithWalkDaily October 2, 2008 ~ Psalm 9:18 But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.

We can do this, one day at a time, by the grace of God, for He is the God of hope and mercy!

Hope to Cope

My hope's in You, who died for me
Though tied to sin, I now walk free.
It seems at times I cannot cope,
But You, Lord Jesus, give me hope.

Today I turn my heart toward You,
To change my focus; make me new!
I can cope, through You whose strength,
Is all I need to go the length.

5 - STEP FOUR

2008-09-30T14:29:00.010-06:00

We find ourselves now at Step 4, taking a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

James 1:19-22
19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. NIV

In the AA recovery book many refer to as the big book, the authors tell us resentment is the "number one" offender. Interesting that James tells us, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Whether many know it or not, the AA book is based on Biblical principles and we are told throughout Scripture that anger will get us into trouble.

James goes on to say, get rid of all moral filth and evil. Let's look at the context of James' theology. He writes to all the tribes scattered among the nations - that would be everyone. He's writing about keeping oneself in God's word, following it closely and living obediently. What happens when we stray from the course? We find ourselves wandering in dark allies, chasing after our lusts and falling into the ways of the world. Go back and read How it Works again. you cannot read this chapter too much or too often.

What then is the result? We start blaming others for all our troubles. It's a wicked and deadly game we play and we must put an end to it if we are to get well.

So we must set pen to paper and look deep within our hearts, asking God to reveal in us everything that hinders our walk with Jesus. We begin with resentments - reliving feelings of hurt and anger for life's injustices.

Who am I angry at? Why? How does it affect me?

What was my part? This is the hardest part of this exercise. If somebody abused me, how can that be my fault? How can I have a part in that? Dig deep. Pray. God will reveal it to you. This is a searching and fearless moral inventory.

We look at our fears. I hide behind my addiction because of fear. What am I afraid of? Who am I afraid of? How does it affect me? We pray and ask God to remove our fears, relying on His strength to help us overcome whatever impedes our recovery.

Finally, the issue of sex must be dealt with. This for Christians may be the most difficult area to face. But face it we must or we shall die in our addictions. Get rid of all moral filth and evil, says James. Let's look at some ways we might be off track in our Christian walk:

Flirting
Lust
Adultery
Promiscuity
Dressing inappropriately
Language
Innuendo
Television and movie choices
Books
Self indulgence
Dancing inappropriately
Going to bars or other places of temptation
Voyeurism
Dirty jokes
Jealousy
Withholding from my spouse
Using for power or control of another person
Over use of make up
Fantasy
How do I present myself in public? On the Internet? With my words?

I'm sure you can think of others. Dig deep. Be honest. How have you behaved inappropriately and how has it affected your life? Other People?

Father, You are holy and powerful, yet merciful and loving. We confess we've strayed far from you in our anger, fear and lust. Lord, we submit our hearts before You and beseech You to reveal every dark corner that needs cleaning. Purify us by the blood of Jesus that washes away our sins. Restore us to sanity that we might once again turn to You alone for our satisfaction, to relieve all anger, fear and unholy desire. Help us to etch Your word on our hearts to call on in our times of need. Holy Spirit, may we listen to Your prompting to be free of self, willing to serve others according to Your purposes. In Jesus' name, amen.

4 - STEP THREE

2008-09-26T08:33:00.005-06:00

Good Morning and praise God for a beautiful autumn day in Colorado and wherever you are!

Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.
~ Psalm 5:3, NLT

There's a lovely way to start the day. Listen to my voice Lord...

We're at Step 3, from How it Works in the book of recovery, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the the care of God as we understood Him."

Have you made that decision? Are you ready to make that decision? It's just a decision.

Suppose I don't have any food in the cupboards and I'm hungry. I decide I need to go to the grocery store to get something to make for dinner. Does that decision put food on the table? Well of course not. I have to follow that decision with actions: put my shoes on, get my car keys, get in my car, start the car, drive to the store, do my shopping, bring the stuff home, cook the meal and eat it.

In the same way, making a decision to turn my life and will over to God must be followed by action. Prayer will help to move us into action. Bill Wilson provided a simple prayer in How it Works, written in rather archaic language, but you can say it any way that comes from your heart.

Father, I've made a fine mess of things down here. I've been selfish and self-centered, always wanting my own way - even demanding my own way. I've lived my life in self-will run riot and it hasn't done me a bit of good. Lord I know You love me, Your word tells me in Ephesians 2:10 You created me with a plan in mind, You have a purpose for my life. Now I ask you to forgive me for wandering down a road to destruction in disobedience. Bring me back into Your loving care. Holy Spirit, guide me according to my Father's plans, keep my eyes focused on the One who saved me, and grant me wisdom, strength and boldness to live for the gospel. Listen to my voice Lord, as I bring my request to You and wait expectantly! In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Great news - when I can't, He can! We can wait expectantly now, rejoicing that He will provide exactly what we need to stay on this road to recoery and become all that He intends for us to be for His purposes. Keep coming back, keep trusting Jesus!

3 - STEP TWO

2008-09-25T16:56:00.008-06:00

In Step 2 from How it Works, we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

So in Step 1 we accepted that we have a problem and that we were powerless to overcome it on our own. Since we're Christians, we have no problem trusting our Sovereign God to help us with this problem. But perhaps we had prayed for years to lose weight, stop drinking, give up the online role playing game - whatever our problem is that threatened to ruin us - and still nothing changed. So now we're going to look at this with a fresh mind and willingness.

You may recall reading about David's life, he struggled with some heavy stuff. Come on, let's face it, the guy had issues. He's married to God only knows how many women. He sees this gorgeous dame bathing on the rooftop across the way and decides he's king, he wants her, and he's going to have his way. He sends for her, seduces and falls in love with her and has her husband sent to the front lines in battle to his death. Of course poor old Uriah the Hittite didn't have a chance.

If you want the whole sordid story, it's the great romance/murder novel of the ages and you can read it here.

David was a selfish, self-centered, prideful sinner. Yet God loved him and blessed him over and over. He also allowed him to suffer the consequences of his sins.

If God could restore David after all he'd done, do you think he can handle our little problem?

When we realize God is on our side and wants to restore us for His purposes, we're ready to move on.

Dear Lord, I do realize I can't fix my problem alone. I need You. I know where I can't, You can! I believe Jesus died on the cross for me to give me new life in You and I know by the power of the Holy Spirit You can restore me from the insanity of my addiction. I am Yours Father, do as You will with me. In Jesus' name, amen.

2 - TAKING THE FIRST STEP

2008-09-24T11:39:00.001-06:00

There's plenty of dirt on us, we know that. The stains have been screaming at us. So we've come to a point when we can say, "yep, there's a problem. I'm it."

In The Doctor's Opinion, (Alcoholics Anonymous) we learn that our problem is an abnormality of the mind. An aberration if you will. An aberrant lens can never be fixed or made to acheive accurate focus. It will always produce flawed images. To the master photographer, it's useless.

So are we hopeless in with our abnormal minds? Ah, by the grace of God we have a filter that corrects the problem in the human mind - that filter is the blood of Christ. What the photographer wouldn't pay for a perfecting filter such as God provides the human heart!

Heb 9:14-15
14 How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! 15 For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance-now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant. NIV

If you don't understand this concept, please go back to the Introduction. This is a Christian recovery devotion. The introduction will help you understand the saving grace of Jesus.

We must first come to that place of absolute awareness. There's no getting around it. Step one in How it Works (Alcoholics Anonymous) says, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." You can put anything in place of the word alcohol - drugs, pornography, food - whatever is your compulsion or obsession.

If you're just getting started, this is where we start. We can go no further until we're willing to admit we have an aberrant mind and are powerless of our own accord to do anything about it. That's Step One. Our lives are out of control. Our relationships are damaged, perhaps we've lost jobs due to our problem, our children are affected, our ability to fully serve God is hindered and we feel utterly without hope. We must first admit these things.

When I came to AA 18 + years ago, I had hit a very hard bottom. I'd lost just about everything except my 3 jobs. They were the only thing that kept me believing I was a person of worth despite everything else I'd screwed up due to my drinking. I had no problem admitting I was powerless over alcohol and my life was unmanageable. In that process I began to see other things in my life I was using to fill the emptiness in me - the God sized void in my heart. I walked through the 12 steps with good guidance from a sponsor, surrounded myself by others in recovery, and knew all the "recovery speak" by heart. I had memorized much of the AA book and have maintained sobriety, by the grace of God, for going on 19 years.

Today, I'm struggling with powerlessness over food. The biggest problem I have is that I haven't hit a hard bottom. It's too easy to compare myself to others and say to myself, "I'm not there yet." I haven't had the medical problems others have due to food abuse, didn't hide food for myself, didn't obsess about food. In fact, I don't even like food, so how can I call myself a compulsive over-eater? Yet, I'm 30 pounds overweight and miserable. I'm unable to do the things I'd like to as a result of low energy, joint issues and high blood pressure. I definitely have a problem because I've been unable to lose the weight no matter what I do. I can wait until it gets worse: until I'm so fat I can hardly walk, until I land in the hospital with a heart attack, until I loathe myself and eat to satisfy my heartache. But I don't want to wait. I don't want to be there. I'm having a hard enough time where I am. Somehow I need to make that bottom come up. Food abuser. I can admit that. I abuse food. I may not be a compulsive over-eater, but I don't use food the way God intended. I'm lazy, unorganized and looking for an easier softer way.

What stands in your way of recovering from whatever it is that controls your life? Do you need to move your bottom up? Is there another way to look at your problem that makes more sense to you and helps you see how damaging it is to your life and faith? Are we being all we can be for God?

Lord, I admit I'm powerless over over this problem, that I'm unwise in my choices and how they affect my family. My foolishness has caused pain and problems in my home and it's out of control. Make this plain to me as I move forward in the steps of recovery, in order that I might see clearly the deinial and sin that impedes my recovery. Thank You Jesus, for the blood You shed to correct the lens through which the Father sees me. May my actions and attitudes reflect Your light in my life. In Your precious name I pray, amen.

1 - GETTING STARTED

2008-09-23T15:17:00.001-06:00

Perhaps you've seen this commercial: Two guys in an interview. One guy has a stain on his shirt. The other guy is looking at the stain. Stain guy is explaining stuff to other guy and all other guy hears is a bunch of garbled nonsense because the stain is so distracting.

I'm other guy. The stains of the world are driving me nuts and all I can hear is "blugaduba, gabula, ah! Blogaba dagaha, bluttle dud." It's all noise.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
~ John 10:27, NLT

It's pretty hard to listen to what the Lord says to me when the stains of the world are blotting out His voice. That noise convinces me it has something to offer me and I go off on tangents that threaten my recovery.

What threatens your recovery today? What are the stains you're focused on that keep you from hearing the voice of your Savior? Are you ready to submit to admit you need help? Ready to submit to the One who CAN help?

Heavenly Father, I submit to you today, all the stains of this world that distract me. Block out the noise of the world and unplug the ears of my heart to hear Your majestic voice. Holy Spirit, speak to me, guide me with Your plans for me today that I might follow my good Shepherd and further Your kingdom according to Your purposes for my life. Help me in my recovery, one day at a time. In Jesus' name, amen.

Introduction to Christian Recovery

2008-09-20T11:25:00.000-06:00

Rom 5:1-25:1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. NIV

In this first recovery devotion, I sat pondering where to begin. The Holy Spirit prompted, begin at the beginning...

Where is the beginning? Creation? We'll save that for another day. For us as Christians, life begins with faith in Jesus, the path to eternal salvation. We were lost in our sin, we came to believe that Jesus died for us and accepted His death on the cross as atonement for our sins. Romans 11:6 tells us by faith we are saved, not by works.

I know for a fact that some of you don't really understand what that means, even though you would say you're a Christian - you wouldn't be reading this if you didn't believe you're a Christian :-) But maybe you feel there's something missing, as I once did.

For many years I attended a certain church, had been sprinkled, confirmed, and received all the sacraments regularly, and I called myself a Christian. I attended worship daily and would kneel in this ornate cathedral, staring up at the crucifix praying, "Jesus, how can I know you?"

Despite all my piousness, I was living a life of terrible sin. No amount of confession could save me. I was lost. I was lost because although I looked at images of Jesus daily, I had no relationship with Him. He was just a statue, an icon, a painting, a sculpture on a cross. I didn't understand salvation, that it means far more than simply believing Jesus was a real person. There was a longing in my heart for Jesus that burned in my soul.

Look at it this way. Suppose I'm in the hospital with a deathly illness. The doctor comes in with a bag of antibiotics that he wants to connect to my IV. He says, "this medicine will cure you, will you accept it?" And you say, "I believe you." So again the doc says, "Will you receive this medicine?" and you say again, "I believe you." Do you see where I'm going with this? It's not enough to believe the chemicals can save your life, you must receive them.

The Jews struggled daily to live up to the law, which had become far more than the 10 commandments God gave to Moses. The list of rules was endless - no man could live up to them. But they tried and those who were righteous in their own eyes were full of pride - the greatest sin of all. If Jesus didn't die to deliver us from the law, then His crucifixion was for naught.

But God is faithful and just, He hears the prayer of our hearts and comes to our rescue. God knows the beginning and the end and He has known before you were born exactly where you would be at this moment. He knew who would choose Him and who would turn away. He knew I desired to know Him more than anything. So many years ago, the Holy Spirit prompted me to be in the right place at the right time to hear the right message - the message of salvation. That day I finally understood, and came face to face with Jesus, recognizing my deficiency, asking His forgiveness, seeking His lordship to rule me, a Shepherd to guide me forever.

Since that day I began an unforgettable journey with Jesus. The transformation was instantaneous and amazing. The Holy Spirit gives me the fuel to keep going when I'm sure I can't go on. He gives me hope, strength, joy and compassion. He prompts me to reach out to others, to write, to bring hope and encouragement to a hurting world.

Today I live for the Lord, not myself. I have purpose. When the world shadows me in darkness He lights my way. When I feel hopeless He comforts me. When I'm afraid He is my shield. When I doubt He reassures me. When I'm weak He is my strength. When I fall down He picks me up.
If you're in that place of searching, if you've always longed for a real relationship with Jesus but just didn't get it, today is the day. He stands at the door knocking. Open the door and invite Him in. He will change your life.

It's this simple, really. You can pray a prayer along these lines - but make it your own. Speak from your heart to the One who loves you. It's not about the words you pray but the heart that prays them. It's about acknowledging our unworthiness and God's awesome mercy and ability to heal and lead us. It's about emptying ourselves of self and allowing the Holy Spirit to fill us for God's purposes. Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you now, with your own words from your innermost being.

Jesus, I know I'm a sinner and that nothing I can do, no works of my own can change that. Only You have the power to change my heart and make me whole. I know You died to cover my sins, that You are the atonement for my sins. Come into my life Rabbi! Teach me Jesus. Be my Savior, my guiding light. Give me that heart of daily, moment by moment repentance that convicts me the instant my heart strays. Walk with me through life and show me the way. I trust in You and give my heart to You, that You would take up residence in me. Holy Spirit move in me to fulfill Your purposes in my life. In the name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, amen.

That's it. You're made new. Today begins the most amazing journey of your life for the rest of your life. Welcome to the kingdom of heaven! Real recovery begins today.

Eph 2:8-108 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. NKJV

Our faith rests in Jesus who has all power and authority. Through Him, we have endless power over food, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs -whatever has a hold on you. Through Him we have victory. We can confess our temptation the minute it enters our thoughts and dispel those attacks of the enemy with the tools we've been given. Today, I turn my sinful compulsions over to Jesus who gives me the power to make wise choices and the weapons to fight the devil's lure.

Lord Jesus, thank You for paying the ultimate price for my sake. Thank You for infusing me with Your amazing power to overcome that which threatens our abstinence. We claim victory over our compulsion through Your power within us. In the name of Jesus we pray, amen.

Keep coming back. Today's devotion was a much longer than you can expect in the future. We covered a lot in one session here today. My commitment is to provide fresh daily recovery devotions, based on Scripture, to help you along your journey to recover from whatever it is that keeps you from being the man or woman God intended you to be. My service ensures my recovery too!